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Unexamined Premises

The Stupidest Article About Guns You Will Ever Read

July 15th, 2014 - 6:27 pm
crybabies

Me scared

Bar none. Go ahead, I dare you to read it and not thump your head against the nearest wall. It starts badly enough:

Contrary to what those who defend the right to own high-powered assault rifles believe, not all guns are created equal. Due to a combination of availability, portability and criminal usage the following five types of guns are the country’s most dangerous.

And then gets worse.  The link takes you to the instantly infamous piece in Rolling Stone by some poor lassie named Kristen Gwynne entitled, “The Five Most Dangerous Guns in America.” Now, most normal people reading that might think what follows is a list of suggestions for your next firearms purchase — you know, something that packs major firepower into an attractive, well-priced package that will instantly deter or atomize a bad guy should the need arise. But no. It’s an anti-gun piece. And by “anti-gun,” I don’t mean anti specific makes and models. Oh no…

Using firearm trace data from the ATF, as well as FBI homicide records, we determined the types of guns most often recovered from crime scenes and/or used in murders. The numbers are stark: According to the FBI’s 2012 Crime in the US data, nearly 70 percent of homicides for which the FBI received weapons data involved the use of a firearm and handguns alone accounted for about 72 percent of firearms used in murders and non-negligent manslaughter. While the FBI does not elaborate on the type of handguns used in these incidents, the ATF’s analysis of weapons confiscated from crime scenes provides a more specific look at the weapons criminals prefer, which we’ve shared with you here.

Holy cow, what could they be? The Glock G42? The Smith and Wesson 500? Gatling guns? Derringers?

Ready?  Aim… and fire after the jump.

Run for your lives! It's inanimate, legal, freely available objects protected by the Second Amendment!

Run for your lives! It’s inanimate, legal, freely available objects protected by the Second Amendment!

The “types of guns most often recovered from crime scenes and/or used in murders”? Amazingly, they are exactly the same types of guns most often used in defense of one’s person, property, family or nation. Here is the Rolling Stone List of Death:

  • Pistols
  • Revolvers (also handguns)
  • Rifles
  • Shotguns and…
  • Derringers

In other words, all guns.  Plus Derringers, just for good measure.  And did they mention Derringers? No, I am not making this particular piece of “service journalism” up. It really is that stupid. Be sure to read the comments.  My favorite so far:

The Five Most Dangerous Dogs:

  • Big dogs
  • Little dogs
  • Medium Sized Dogs
  • Male Dogs
  • Female Dogs

Over to you guys. Have fun. No need to be nice.

toy_gun_rolling_stone_logo_big_7-15-14-1

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Top Rated Comments   
Water is a major contributor to drowning deaths. This is fact. And there are several types of water: salt water, fresh water, chlorinated water in swimming pools (especially dangerous for minors), brackish streams, marshes, EPA designated wetlands. Know your water. Save lives.
14 weeks ago
14 weeks ago Link To Comment
Just under 35,000 Americans were killed in automobile accidents in 2008.

The type of cars involved:

little cars
big cars
medium cars
ugly cars
some trucks

Outlaw automobiles NOW!
14 weeks ago
14 weeks ago Link To Comment
Michael,after the great collapse. I think your quote," The democrats are a criminal syndicate masquerading as a political party" will become as famous as "Give me liberty or give me death".
14 weeks ago
14 weeks ago Link To Comment
All Comments   (110)
All Comments   (110)
Sort: Newest Oldest Top Rated
Agreed, a dumb article. On the other hand, the Rolling Stone profile of Larry Pratt was a pretty good expose of a true sociopath.
13 weeks ago
13 weeks ago Link To Comment
No doubt.

Say, how many people has he killed so far? It must be in the dozens by now.

You write for Rolling Stone, I take it?

13 weeks ago
13 weeks ago Link To Comment
Women who are dangerous because they can break a man's heart:

Cougars
Nymphomaniacs
Teasers
Strippers
Women named Kelly
Dis-arrangers.

13 weeks ago
13 weeks ago Link To Comment
You forgot furniture re-arrangers!

13 weeks ago
13 weeks ago Link To Comment
Simpletons...well, simplify!
13 weeks ago
13 weeks ago Link To Comment
Shows what happens when the author gets out of her drug story comfort zone.
14 weeks ago
14 weeks ago Link To Comment
Or too far into it....

13 weeks ago
13 weeks ago Link To Comment
Oatmeal & Beards are VERY dangerous together.
14 weeks ago
14 weeks ago Link To Comment
So...it's kinda like a horn dog of a man saying his 5 categories of hottest chicks, only gleaned from tons of study and high brow academic research, are: Fat ones, thin ones, tall ones, shorts ones, pretty ones, ugly ones, smart ones, and DUMB ones,...ya know, like this lady...and 95% of everything else in Rolling Stone.
14 weeks ago
14 weeks ago Link To Comment
If this is the Left's "A" game on guns, then this is one issue where I'm pretty sure my rights will stay secure for the foreseeable future.

Seriously, the Left's ignorance on the subject of guns never ceases to amaze me. I always find myself wanting to offer suggestions to help them sound less stupid. You know your adversary is doing awful when you can defend their position better than they can.
14 weeks ago
14 weeks ago Link To Comment
Oh, I have no problem with their ignorance on the subject of guns. I wouldn't want to force anyone to learn about guns if they're not interested.

The thing is -- they ARE interested. They want to tell you what kinds of guns you can and cannot own... but they cannot tell one gun from another. They want the authority to tell you what to do... but don't want the responsibility of knowing what they're talking about.
13 weeks ago
13 weeks ago Link To Comment
Does anyone remember if there is a Duranty Award category for utterly stupid journalism? If so, I nominate the Rolling Stone article.
14 weeks ago
14 weeks ago Link To Comment
Worms are dangerous. The three most dangerous worms are:

Long, thin, slimy ones; Short, fat, juicy ones,
Itsy, bitsy, fuzzy wuzzy worms.

And Derringer worms....
14 weeks ago
14 weeks ago Link To Comment
Good thing you didn't forget the derringer worms!

14 weeks ago
14 weeks ago Link To Comment
The title of this article is quite obviously false. Human intelligence is limited, stupidity is infinite. The will always be an even more stupid article on guns, just like there will always be a more inane anti-Semitic conspiracy theory(*), or a more insane defense of Obama. We are talking about people who cannot be parodied, because they always top it.

(*) According to the Hamas charter, the Lions Clubs is a front for world Jewish domination. Really. And these people have missiles.
14 weeks ago
14 weeks ago Link To Comment
"According to the Hamas charter, the Lions Clubs is a front for world Jewish domination. Really. And these people have missiles."

The first part would be funny, if not for the second part.

13 weeks ago
13 weeks ago Link To Comment
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