The Difference Between Happiness and Joy

Last week here at PJ Lifestyle, we saw a lively debate over the difference between altruism and giving out of love — particularly in a Judeo-Christian context. My colleagues Walter Hudson and Susan L. M. Goldberg eloquently shared their thoughts on the nature of altruism in a series of compelling posts:

April 6: Altruism Has No Place In Christianity

April 8: Altruism In Religion’s Free Market

April 9: Love And Altruism Prove Opposite

Walter, Susan, our editor David Swindle, and I continued the discussion on Facebook, which morphed into a bigger exploration of faith and religion. At one point, Susan brought up the notion we often hear from secularists that “God doesn’t want us to be happy.” I replied:

I don’t think God wants us to be happy, either. He wants us to be filled with joy. Happiness is temporal and circumstantial, while joy is sustained.

There’s a clear difference between happiness and joy. Circumstances and relationships determine our happiness. An ice cream cone can make you happy. A great comedy can make you happy. An upbeat song (even that ubiquitous Pharrell Williams tune) can make you happy. But happiness is transitory and momentary — and ultimately external. Psychologist Sandra A. Brown writes (particularly in the context of relationships):

Happiness is external. It’s based on situations, events, people, places, things, and thoughts. Happiness is connected to your hope for a relationship or your hope for a future with someone….

Happiness is future oriented and it puts all its eggs in someone else’s basket. It is dependent on outside situations, people, or events to align with your expectations so that the end result is your happiness.

And happiness can disappear as quickly as it comes. The same people who make us happy one moment can hurt us or let us down the next. That great meal you ate can give you unbearable heartburn. You can grow tired of the songs, films, and shows you once loved. A storm can ruin that perfect trip to the beach. The happiness we seek can often disappear without warning.

Joy is a completely different animal. It’s long-lasting and sustained — I’d even call it eternal. Joy transcends circumstances and relates to peace and hope in a lot of ways. Blogger Amber B. put it well when she wrote:

While happiness is a temporary, fleeting thing, joy is eternal. Having joy is almost like a symbol that all is well within you. It’s that thing that keeps you going when you really just want to give up.

We see the Judeo-Christian concept of joy throughout the Bible. Nehemiah, who oversaw the rebuilding of the temple in Jerusalem when the Israelites were exiled, told God’s chosen people that “the joy of the Lord is your strength.” Proverbs 17:22 tells us that “a joyful heart is good medicine.”

In John 15, while Jesus ate His final Passover meal with His disciples, he told them to remain in His love and obey His commands. In verse 11, He said, “I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete.” Later on, in John 16:22, He told them that after His resurrection from the dead, “no one will take away your joy.” Those promises apply to those of us who follow Him even to this day.

The apostle Paul told the Philippian church, “Rejoice in the Lord always” — the same Lord who told us, “In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” My friend, singer-songwriter Scott England, says that the word rejoice means “to take joy.” Joy sustains you and doesn’t fade when times get tough.

There’s nothing wrong with seeking happiness. The pleasure and fun of life are worth experiencing. But if we look to those circumstances and things to sustain us, we will be disappointed. Instead, strive for joy, and it will sustain you.