Get PJ Media on your Apple

PJM Lifestyle

The Best-Kept Sexual Secret on a Hook-Up Campus

What every mother knows about the birds and the bees... it's time to tell our daughters.

by
Rhonda Robinson

Bio

March 28, 2014 - 5:00 pm
Page 1 of 3  Next ->   View as Single Page
YouTube Preview Image

Equality for women, or so the story goes, was achieved with the sexual revolution. When the pill hit in the sixties, it leveled the playing field by giving women a victory over their reproductive systems. At least, so they thought. Now, women could behave as promiscuously as men without being “punished with a baby.”

If in fact this were true, young women today should be living in feminism’s promised land. We have arrived in a world where hook-ups are the norm, at least on most college campuses. However, life is not better for women. In fact, a new study shows it is much worse.

Romantic relationships are becoming more difficult for women to navigate and young couples are putting off marrying until much later.

In spite of the epidemic of young men failing by “all social indicators,” as the video above put it, to adjust to adulthood, males are now in the driver’s seat of the premarital relationship. Before the sexual revolution, however, women determined the course of the relationship. The average woman sought a relationship with the ultimate goal of securing a lifetime mate, not a one-night workout. Her sexual response tended to go hand-in-hand with the depth of the commitment of the relationship. In the hook-up culture that is no longer the case.

The Austin Institute has put out a video explaining the courtship and mating habits of young people in the economic terms of supply and demand. The AI theory is that it is a matter of basic economics.

There are far too many women flooding the dating market with easy sex, thus driving the value down. A sexual encounter no longer costs a man much more than a few drinks or a couple nights out. In order to recover the market, women need to collectively agree to hold out for more.

Interesting, but oversimplified. This still assumes that women are in fact the same as men sexually — a mutual trade for equal goods. In spite of the popular cultural narrative, this is simply not true and the results have been destructive to women for generations. This theory must ignore science and keep hidden one fact about a woman’s body no one wants to talk about — even in college.

Comments are closed.

Top Rated Comments   
"Interesting, but oversimplified. This still assumes that women are in fact the same as men sexually "

The article is strill oversimplified, as it assumes that men are a single group. In reality, the 80/20 principle applies to men as a population. 20% of the men receive 80% of the female attention and the remaining 80% spend their adolesence and young adult life desperate for female attention. The results are that the two groups of men experience different enough worlds as to be considered two separate species.

There are ALWAYS plenty of men who are willing to offer women the commitment they supposedly want. Women do not want a man's commitment if it is available. No, only the commitment of a man who can pick whatever woman he wants is considered desirable.
43 weeks ago
43 weeks ago Link To Comment
Couple of thoughts:

1. Collude to create a higher price for sex? Women can't split a check at a dinner table.

2. Yet another relationship piece that's focused on women's needs or women's benefits, and men's existence is reduced to their utility to women.

3. Yet again, focused on making men 'pay' for sex.

4. The film discusses (accurately, IMHO) the market value of sex being a limiting cause of later and fewer marriages. No discussion of how female behavior and family court act as further disincentives to marry. She has *his* commitment, but he doesn't have hers, and nobody likes an unequal partnership.
43 weeks ago
43 weeks ago Link To Comment
One more proof that time-tested traditional values aren't a result of stodgy, old-fashioned prudes but of deep, spiritual truths given by God and purposed to operate in a finely-tuned universe.

Interesting stuff. Thanks.
43 weeks ago
43 weeks ago Link To Comment
All Comments   (45)
All Comments   (45)
Sort: Newest Oldest Top Rated
Honestly, i don't see a direct connection between birth control and the current dating scene (which I am not part of). But I do see a huge sense of entitlement from women fostered by the feminist / liberal movement, that the world owes them a risk-free, work-free, gold-brick lifestyle at the expense of men in general, working men, their boyfriend, date, and/or husband.
43 weeks ago
43 weeks ago Link To Comment
My initial reaction is: The sexual revolution for women will be a huge bonanza for gynocologists. When will antibiotics stop working for the multitude of sexually transmitted diseases? Who will suffer most from this.
43 weeks ago
43 weeks ago Link To Comment
I've been happily married for the last 26 years and counting and if I were out in the dating world today, I wouldn't change a thing about my approach. I don't need a woman and I don't want a woman who needs me. I choose to be with a woman because she brings joy to my life and I would hope that a woman would choose me for the same reason.

If a woman is looking for a hook up with me, then I would happily decline and tell her to look elsewhere as I have no interest in having sex with a skank. You see, I simply have no respect for any person that has such a trivial attitude towards sex, man or woman, and I couldn't care less what such people think of me. Don't get me wrong, I don't think that sex is some magical thing that I put on a pedestal, I just think it's something worth sharing with someone you care for and not trivializing like it has zero meaning.

Now it may be that if I was ever unfortunate enough to be back in the dating scene that I would never have sex again. Ok. I'm good with that. Not having sex again for the rest of my life would be better than having sex with a 2-bit skank.
43 weeks ago
43 weeks ago Link To Comment
A thought: Is this related to the fact that the conservative movement is increasingly being led by women?
43 weeks ago
43 weeks ago Link To Comment
Millions upon millions of young men are kind, polite, and perfectly happy to take it slow. These men cannot find a woman even willing to hold their hand. Women are too busy chasing cads and players. Until conservatives take a real hard look at the behavior of women today, their "wisdom" will be just as delusional and useless as the feminists.
43 weeks ago
43 weeks ago Link To Comment
Women don't want a "kind, polite" guy, they want one that will fight to defend their family, country and god.
43 weeks ago
43 weeks ago Link To Comment
The Founding Fathers would tar and feather corrupt politicians, and dumped tea in the harbor instead of paying unreasonable taxes.
43 weeks ago
43 weeks ago Link To Comment
The Pill is not the culprit in the devaluation of women. It's the message the feminist movement sent and continues to send to girls and women. If you have no respect for what you bring to the dating table, and allow easy access to your body for all, then what does that say about your confidence, ability to process what you have to mentally offer, and puts emphasis on physical intimacy rather than the emotional and character. Respect and desirability starts with aspects of who you are in your brain, not with who you are with your clothing off .
43 weeks ago
43 weeks ago Link To Comment
I was born too early to catch the faintest beginning glimmer of anything one might have called a "hook-up culture." But heart-crushingly envious though I am, I'll be damned if I begrudge such an experience to younger folks lucky enough to encounter such a thing.

Godspeed, young students; wish I could have shared anything resembling your experiences, but I refuse to let that human streak of envy ruin things for you. When I was young, young women felt obliged to "maximize their market value" (to use the ghastly author's ghastly cynical phrasing,) and it made life something close to a living hell for any young man insufficiently near the top of the social totem pole. For your sake (it's too late for me), never let those days return.
43 weeks ago
43 weeks ago Link To Comment
Dont worry, we are going to regress and nature will make the correction.
43 weeks ago
43 weeks ago Link To Comment
Another study shows that college women who indulge in the "Hook up Culture" have a problem staying married after the get out of school. Apparently they become addicted to the search for something better or more exciting. Men who want faithful wives are starting to avoid them.
43 weeks ago
43 weeks ago Link To Comment
My two sons are going to be walking into this world in a few years. We talk. A lot.

So many concerns, and there won't be a damn thing my wife or I can do about it. Two really decent young men walking into...who knows? There are times I feel that by giving them a childhood, and time to become young men, that we've put them at a disadvantage even as we've allowed nature take its course with them.

I guess we aren't the only parents in the world to feel this way. But it's worse now, because they are good guys that speak the king's English, put a high value on basic human worth, understand that if you aren't a hero it's okay to want to be one... these are not things that go down well in most recesses of the academy.

There is a phrase which, turned on its head, goes like this, "virtue is its own
punishment."

One of my prayers is that our sons are not exemplars of that adage. They have big hearts and it would break mine to see theirs ruined.
43 weeks ago
43 weeks ago Link To Comment
I have a son married with one son 2 years old; and a younger son who, as a very attractive athlete living in a city with MANY young people, Dallas TX, has been very disappointed with the girls who throw themselves at him. I have grown more and more cynical as the 20-something females decide they don't need men as partners. He is not gay and has modeled some, so he is "pleasing to the eye". He is not one of those "bad boys" and is not stuck on himself. He is unable to find a girl interested in "commitment". Yes, I know it sounds like the burden is on him...maybe it is. But the experiences he's had portrays the opposite situation. This generation of ladies wants the fun without the long term view. I hope I'm wrong....he will make an excellent husband and father. Time will tell, however.
43 weeks ago
43 weeks ago Link To Comment
Yeah, I remember all those ladies throwing themselves at me---or maybe something like that... Nah. I looked fine but I couldn't make the leap into free-spirited-monkey-sex. My brain and my heart wouldn't let me. There had to be love, and love is a rare thing. So, do the math on that.

My wife says I look great and I'll take her at her word. I KNOW she looks great. Point being, if there's love, everything that matters is already there.
Hope your son can separate the wheat from the chaff; it's worth it.


43 weeks ago
43 weeks ago Link To Comment
I also have tow sons heading out into the world very soon. You need to trust their judgement and their instincts. If you've done your job, they've got both.
43 weeks ago
43 weeks ago Link To Comment
Thanks for that.

I misplaced our "EASY" button early on, so we've had to do everything manually. From some of your past posts I take it that you've had your challenges along the way, so backatcha!
43 weeks ago
43 weeks ago Link To Comment
Yes, we've had challenges! And I have also allowed my kids to be challenged and fail and to feel the effects while they're still under my roof so I am around to help them process it. I think that's important. Too many parents try to smooth out all of life's wrinkles and it cripples their kids.

Best wishes to you and yours.
43 weeks ago
43 weeks ago Link To Comment
100% on the page. Thanks again!
43 weeks ago
43 weeks ago Link To Comment
1 2 3 Next View All