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3 Terrible Male Role Models for Girls

They’re well spoken, intelligent and gorgeous. Keep your daughters away!

by
Bonnie Ramthun

Bio

February 8, 2014 - 7:00 am
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Last spring one of my friend’s teenage sons worked up his courage and asked a girl to the prom. He asked her very much like Harry Potter asking Cho Chang out in the Goblet of Fire, a scene that touches my heart every time I see it. Harry Potter stumbles, he stutters, he barely squeaks out the invitation. When this young man asked a girl to the prom in a similar clumsy way, her response was not the gentle letdown that Cho gives Harry.

This girl said: “Really? That’s how you’re asking me? Ask me again, but do it better next time.”

Of course girls have been swooning over romantic heroes since Heathcliff stalked the moors in Wuthering Heights, but at least these fictional characters were grown men. Our young women’s romantic expectations today are being poisoned by terrible male role models. No, not violent action stars. Not brutes or lawbreaking bad boys. These terrible role models are the impossibly perfect young men of romantic movies, who say the right thing at the right time, always look terrific and never stumble over words or have a single pimple. Today, young men in romantic movies are as suave, charming, and witty as a grown-up, because they are written by grown-ups. Here are three who are terrible role models. Young women who watch these improbably perfect young men and think that they exist are setting themselves up for disappointment.

Top Rated Comments   
Nevermind the girls for a moment (I know that's hard in our feminized society) -- do these characters provide good role models for boys and young men? Doesn't this matter?

10 weeks ago
10 weeks ago Link To Comment
How about the biggest reason to avoid these people - they're awfully girly looking.
10 weeks ago
10 weeks ago Link To Comment
"The girl who demanded that my friend’s son “Try again”? She ended up at home on prom night."

I hope that's because your son realized he was asking the wrong girl, rather than it being because he was too crushed to try again.


10 weeks ago
10 weeks ago Link To Comment
All Comments   (44)
All Comments   (44)
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I'm not sure what the point of this column is, perhaps because my sarcasm meter is broken? What I'm getting is some sort of complaint that movies are glorifying teen boys who are nonpareils of manners, accomplishment, and selflessness. Surely that's sarcasm?
6 weeks ago
6 weeks ago Link To Comment
I'm subtly reassured that I don't recognize a single one of these folks, neither the actor nor the character (although I've read the Hunger Games, guess Peeta didn't make much of an impression).
9 weeks ago
9 weeks ago Link To Comment
The old joke is that the "golden age of science fiction" is 14, because at that age all we boys have indeed heard of an intelligent species who is, however, incomprehensible and deeply alien -- a.k.a. "girls".

As I recall, we believed our chances of establishing meaningful communication with four-dimentional energy beings from Zeta Rectuli using higher mathematics are significantly higher than those of speaking meaningfully with a girl.

Earth's very existence is on the line if we failed to impressed the Rectulians, you say? Meh. That's NOTHING compared to the pressure you feel before picking up the phone and calling the alien habitat known as "the girl's house".
9 weeks ago
9 weeks ago Link To Comment
Not only are they written by grownups they are often acted by grownups.
10 weeks ago
10 weeks ago Link To Comment
You're spot on with this. Luckily not even a majority of women are as stupid as the girl that told your friend's son to "try again." Every man I know that has real work skills and good character (as opposed to manipulation skills and a pretty face) is married or engaged.
10 weeks ago
10 weeks ago Link To Comment
I was expecting the male leads from Psych, Suits, and White Collar. All of them are suave, superficially charming, manipulative speakers, in other words: psychopaths. Parents should be teaching their daughters to be wary of this kind of men and steer clear.
10 weeks ago
10 weeks ago Link To Comment
Nevermind the girls for a moment (I know that's hard in our feminized society) -- do these characters provide good role models for boys and young men? Doesn't this matter?

10 weeks ago
10 weeks ago Link To Comment
That's an interesting question. I think the first two, perhaps, but the third, Edward Cullen, isn't human so it's kind of hard to say.

10 weeks ago
10 weeks ago Link To Comment
LOL, I am MARRIED to one of the not-such-a-romantic-speaker fellas- and I am still charmed when he says his version. She doesn't know what she might have missed. Poor girl.
10 weeks ago
10 weeks ago Link To Comment
Great post. Thank you for the reality check.
10 weeks ago
10 weeks ago Link To Comment
By the time many of us men learn how to be witty and charming, and are able to figure women out, we're old men. :-)
10 weeks ago
10 weeks ago Link To Comment
Any woman worth marrying doesn't need figuring out, or wit and charm (not much, anyway). She'll figure out if you're worth marrying or not in the first few hours.
10 weeks ago
10 weeks ago Link To Comment
You have them figured out??


You're delusional!

:D

10 weeks ago
10 weeks ago Link To Comment
Not only was Edward Cullen handsome and suave with vampire powers...

He also had a hundred years to practice his art.
10 weeks ago
10 weeks ago Link To Comment
... and he's still a sparkly putz.
10 weeks ago
10 weeks ago Link To Comment
You have us figured out?? Time to switch up the strategy again!
10 weeks ago
10 weeks ago Link To Comment
I don't think it's so difficult. It can be accomplished accidently by growing up with a sister or two and just paying attention. Or by recognizing that people generally want the same basic things and noticing the emotional variations and exigencies when it comes to women. The mistake a lot of men make is surrendering to these exigencies (that is, by failing to recognize that women don't always want men to surrender to them).

In any case, as Rebecca West said, "women are idiots and men are lunatics."
10 weeks ago
10 weeks ago Link To Comment
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