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5 Dating Rules for Single Moms That Could Save Your Child’s Life

How Single Mothers are Destroying Kids and Society, Part III.

by
Megan Fox

Bio

October 21, 2013 - 1:00 pm
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I have been focusing on the detriment to society posed by single motherhood in my series found in installments here: Part 1, and Part 2. Today, I want to talk directly to single mothers who truly do want to find someone to complete their family and create stability in the lives of their children. Since it is true that dating poses the biggest threat to the well-being of children parented by a single mom, there are steps that need to be taken before wading into the dating pool. If you don’t want your child to end up like Adrian Peterson’s young son, beaten to death by a live-in boyfriend (allegedly), then please take this seriously.

You are a mother first, not a woman with “needs”. Your children have needs that come before yours and if you don’t want to see them on a cold slab one day you need to see to their needs first. There are good men out there who will be excellent fathers to fatherless children. But you must, as a single mother in your search for love be focused on finding love for your children. Not all men who love you will love your children and most of them, statistically, will hurt your children. So be very, very careful. Your children’s lives depend on you.

A child raised by a single mother is 10 times more likely to be abused by a live-in boyfriend than any child in a home with two biological, married parents. This is a fact. If you as a single mother know that your child is 10 times more likely to be abused by your boyfriend (which now you do because I’ve told you) how far would you go to make sure it never happens to your child?

To start, follow these simple rules to lessen your chances of being on the wrong side of the statistics.

First up, slow and steady wins the race…

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All Comments   (12)
All Comments   (12)
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I have plenty of experience as a step-father. Let me add to what the author writes that being a step-father can be very, very difficult despite the best intentions. A single mom and a prospective husband should understand this and develop strategies to cope with the inevitable stresses.

As a step-parent you have all of the responsibilities of parenthood without the authority that naturally comes with being a parent. The rewards are very few at first and may never come. You will pay a heavy price for honest mistakes. Conflicts are unavoidable. That said, there can be great blessings from all the sacrifices step-parenting entails.

I told this to my step-daughter when she became engaged to a man with an 8 year old daughter. She now understands what I was talking about.
1 year ago
1 year ago Link To Comment
I've got a cousin who kept making all of these same mistakes... and as a result I have two relatives who have been deeply negatively affected as a result.

Yeah... you're a woman with needs. You also have children. They are your top priority now. If my cousin understood that her children would be far better off and far less traumatized.
1 year ago
1 year ago Link To Comment
selection of topic is so cool.
I believe that to be mother is more important
1 year ago
1 year ago Link To Comment
I was single mom starting in the early 80s. I knew about the hazards ... and so I basically didn't date anyone seriously until my daughter was in her late teens,. Her welfare and safety was more important to me than anything.
And besides - I was so busy with trying to maintain a family life and keep my career in the military going - that I had no energy left over for dating. Or anything much in the way of a me-oriented social life. It just wasn't anything that I had time to do. YMMV
1 year ago
1 year ago Link To Comment
I'm a single Dad. Very grateful that I have the kids instead of the ex. Not that she's a 'bad' person- she visits the kids in their home with me unsupervised. She isn't a threat, but I was very worried that the guys she got involved would be. I have two beautiful daughters and a wonderful son.

Enjoying my time with them until they're adults before getting involved with someone else is like a gift to them vice a sacrifice. Yeah, I definitely agree the responsibilities trump the needs--- but there's a lot of reward in fulfilling the responsibilities.
1 year ago
1 year ago Link To Comment
Oh my goodness, what a lecture! I have no idea who you think you're reaching with this stuff.
1 year ago
1 year ago Link To Comment
I find it amusing the way you're always picking at Megan. :)
1 year ago
1 year ago Link To Comment
I'm trying to challenge her to be less preachy, which is something her editor should be doing.
1 year ago
1 year ago Link To Comment
Sorry. MT Geoff, but social class is not a guarantor of good behavior in the private realm. My contemporary's parents made that fatal mistake.

Who would you believe: a twelve year old with a bad teenager attitude, or a medical student graduating at the top of his class? Who would you believe- a 9 year old in need of major counseling for anger issues, or a respected surgeon? A 16 year old with a bad attitude, or a private investigator with excellent ties to the police and court? A special ed little kid, or the devoted babysitter?

The natural condition of children outside of decent parents' care is Prey.

The daily mail has a book review of Corey Feldman's biography. The predators he lists- they had lucrative jobs in the industry. And they preyed on the young actors in the most heart-breaking ways possible.

1 year ago
1 year ago Link To Comment
Howdy ari
Of course you're right that social status or ethnic group are not guarantees of appropriate behavior. For that matter, marital/biological status are not guarantees either. I only question that a majority of father-surrogates abuse the children of the women they date or otherwise associate with.
I know it happens and at greater rates than biological and bio-married parents.
1 year ago
1 year ago Link To Comment
"...and most of them, statistically, will hurt your children."
It's true that the father-figure, as opposed to father, is more of a risk to children. But I sincerely doubt a majority of father-figure men abuse the children of women they date, live with, or marry. There may be social groups in which this is true, alas.
Your concerns are valid and your advice in these articles has been sound.
1 year ago
1 year ago Link To Comment
Though a father may make a host of decisions and a multitude of mistakes... I would trust a father with his own son than a child with a stranger.

He may not always do the right things, or even for the right reasons but a good father will always have his heart truly in the right place.
1 year ago
1 year ago Link To Comment
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