Fine.  If he doesn't come, I'll marry myself.

Fine. If he doesn’t come, I’ll marry myself.

As Powerline blog notes, commenting on this same article, it’s getting harder and harder to distinguish supposedly serious news sites from the Onion.

According to the ever-entertaining and self-aggrandizing Huffington Post, Nadine Schweigert married herself and “opened up about self marriage.”

A 36-year-old North Dakota woman who married herself in a commitment ceremony last March has now spoken about her self-marriage choice in an interview with Anderson Cooper.

The marriage took place among friends and family who were encouraged to “blow kisses to the world” after she exchanged rings with her “inner groom”, My Fox Phoenix reports.

“I feel very empowered, very happy, very joyous … I want to share that with people, and also the people that were in attendance, it’s a form of accountability,” Nadien Schweigert told Anderson Cooper.

Schweigert said the ceremony was a celebration of how far she’d come since her painful divorce six years ago that led to her two children to decide to live with her ex-husband.

“Six years ago I would’ve handled a problem by going out and drinking,” she said. “I smoked, I was 50 pounds overweight … this is just celebrating how far I’ve come in my life.”

Note the delicate construction in that whole passage — six years ago she left her husband, and that’s how she handled “a problem” then — so what problem does she still have?  Presumably the fact that she remains alone, since women who have remarried rarely have to “marry themselves.”

And what form of “accountability” is she emphasizing?  What exactly is she promising herself?  To do the best she can for herself?  I thought that was just what we owed ourselves and society?

Or is her “commitment” and accountability to make the best of being alone?  And make it sound like a grand adventure?

Marriage by definition is the union of two individuals, who commit to each other.  Committing to… yourself?

Oh, honey, in my day we just called that being a spinster.

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Photo courtesy of Shutterstock,© Frantisek Czanner