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This Fish is A Danger to Your Manhood

Just when you thought it was safe to go skinny-dipping. The invasive species that will have you running for your shorts!

Sarah Hoyt


August 15, 2013 - 6:00 pm

This is a close relative of the invasive species that might very well be lurking in that lake you’re about to skinny dip in.

Swedish men have been told to keep their swimming trunks on while swimming in the sound off the country’s Southern Coast. The problem is an invasive species of fish commonly found in the Amazon.

The Telegraph reports:

The alert came after a fisherman in the Oresund Sound last week retrieved a 21 centimetre pacu – a relative of the piranha that is most commonly found in the Amazon region.

“Keep your swimwear on if you’re bathing in the Sound these days – maybe there are more out there!” cautioned the National History Museum in neighbouring Denmark.

The freshwater fish, which can grow up to 90 centimetres and weigh up to 25 kilogrammes, has been nicknamed the “ball cutter” for its attacks on the male genitalia.

In areas where pacus proliferate, fishermen have reportedly bled to death after losing their testicles to the fish’s crushing jaws.

But surely, you say, that doesn’t mean anything to men in the US? Well, the Telegraph further reports that:

Discoveries have also been reported in several US states; in 2006, officials at one Texas lake reportedly put a $100 bounty on the pacu caught there.

So, Gentlemen, if you should go swimming this weekend, I urge you to keep your swim trunks on.  Sometimes, modesty is the best part of valor.


photo @ simongaberscik

Sarah Hoyt lives in Colorado with her husband, two sons and too many cats. She has published Darkship Thieves and 16 other novels, and over 100 short stories. Writing non-fiction is a new, daunting endeavor. For more on Sarah and samples of her writing, look around at Sarah A. or check out her writing and life blog at According to

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All Comments   (5)
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A tropical fish in Sweden?
1 year ago
1 year ago Link To Comment
According to a conversion program, 90 centimeters, which is the size a pacu can become, is just a touch under a yard long! 25 kilograms, its maximum weight, is 55 pounds. That's a BIG fish and, with teeth like the ones shown in the picture, not one you're likely to fend off by just splashing it!

Frankly, I'd be inclined to stay out of water containing pacu entirely, except perhaps in a suitable vehicle like a submarine! Those things could take a lot more than my cojones: they could bite my head off too. And if they travel in packs like their piranha cousins do, they could finish an adult very quickly, just as piranha can consume an entire adult cow in seconds.
1 year ago
1 year ago Link To Comment
But surely, you say, that doesn’t mean anything to men in the US?

In a country that voted in Obama TWICE and is likely to then elect Hildabeast, precious few "men" have testicles.
1 year ago
1 year ago Link To Comment
It would be a good idea to count your fingers and toes, as well. the Pacu is carnivorous, and not especially particular about what part of a human's anatomy it dines on.
1 year ago
1 year ago Link To Comment
Jeeesh! I suppose kevlar inserts at strategic points would also be recommended.
1 year ago
1 year ago Link To Comment
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