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5 Ways to Forfeit Your Man Card

Go and pick up that purse.

by
John Hawkins

Bio

March 21, 2013 - 2:00 pm
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If Chuck Norris gets a pedicure so that his toes will feel more comfortable when he kicks people in the face, will you think he is a wimp? No. If R. Lee Ermey wants to drink a Cosmopolitan because he feels that it will keep his throat perfectly primed to yell at people, he can get away with it. If  UFC light heavyweight champion Jon “Bones” Jones likes to unwind by watching Twilight after choking someone unconscious in a cage fight, who are we to argue?

Still, there are some things that even the manliest of masculine manly men can’t get away with on their most masculinely manly days without having their man card permanently pulled. For example:

Wolverine

Wolverine

1) Geeking out on children’s entertainment

It’s one thing for a man to listen to the awful music of Justin Bieber and think, “Wow, that’s not the worst thing I’ve ever heard.” It’s quite another to actually go to one of his concerts for the fun of it or, worse yet, refer to himself as a “Belieber.” Wanna go to a comic-book convention? Ok, but if you’re a dude who dresses up like Thor and starts speculating about whether you can defeat the Hulk in a fight, you have a “man problem” you need to address. Don’t even get me started on being a damn brony and walking around in public talking about My Little Pony. Are you a five-year-old girl? If the answer to that question is “no,” then you don’t have any business being a fan of a show aimed at five-year-old girls.

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Top Rated Comments   
Combat Vets always have their man card. they can cry in public, kiss their wife's butt, and dress like the Black Widow weighing 300 lbs. I don't care, they keep the card and you can stuff yours.
1 year ago
1 year ago Link To Comment
After all these years I now need a g@d da&#ed card?
Who's whipped, numbnuts?
1 year ago
1 year ago Link To Comment
A real man watches whatever he damn well pleases, and doesn't give a rip whether anyone approves or not.

A real man isn't afraid to love his woman, and to express that love in whatever way he thinks is appropriate.

A real man isn't afraid of his own emotions. He knows it's not a weakness to let them show once in a while.

A real man doesn't need a list of rules to tell him how to be a man. He thinks pop-psychology lists, quizzes, and personality tests belong in "Cosmopolitan."

Here's a hint: if you live in fear that someone will take your "man card" away, you've already forfeited your manhood. A real man doesn't need an imaginary card to tell him he's a man. He's never doubted it.
1 year ago
1 year ago Link To Comment
All Comments   (60)
All Comments   (60)
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This "man card" thing / catch phrase has been the buzz lately. Guys throwing it around on beer commercials. Women using to emasculate or put down a guy (or their boyfriend / husband) they don't find "socially" acceptable to their high standards.

Forfeit your "man card" this is really funny (sarcasm). By what right or whose standard? Yours? What women think?

I KNOW men who drop this phrase are obviously insecure in something that they have to call out another guy with this phrase to make points with or to impress other guys who are around (and we all left junior high decades ago thankfully).

To impress women nearby who are in earshot and make the person who "said" this phrase "the alpha guy" in their eyes (again, which is juvenile and feeds into the whole "be funny thing to impress the opposite sex").

I'll cry in public if I want to, and if I am moved so.

Adult men who are highly educated produce some of the best children's shows on PBS, and have won national awards.

So what if a guy has to call home, maybe his wife is sick. Maybe he has a son or daughter who has a birth defect or handicap. Maybe...just maybe he has a great marriage and he LOVES his wife. Maybe he's just crazy about her.

Shooting a gun? Grow up. Shooting a gun doesn't make you a man. Defending your home and family with a gun and knowing how to use it is manly.

The last point was the laugh. "Standing up" and "manning up" when the situation calls for it. Get over yourself. Stand by righteousness. Stand for justice. Stand by the weak. Stand by a fellow man who needs help.

The same men who throw this phrase around don't stand for anything except to: shame a person, impress other people, or use stereotypical male pursuits in a way that isn't helpful, or polite, or manly.

Oh my man card? Mine is not here, it's in eternity. I gave it to Christ (the only man I take seriously)
1 year ago
1 year ago Link To Comment
I would only disagree with #4. Why is it unmanly to be considerate to your wife who might be worrying about you?

Also I think its equally as silly for women to cry over trivial matters like having a bad day or her feelings being hurt. That's acceptable behavior for children.
1 year ago
1 year ago Link To Comment
Do you really think he's writing about someone who is kind, considerate and co-operative?

There are guys out there who are so supplicant that they'll literally wade through five feet of water so they can call home to tell the battleaxe on the other end "they can't pick up the milk you ordered".

We all know at least one of these guys - the guy whose wife squats on him, along with every other woman with whom he has contact.
It ain't the women!
It's him.
1 year ago
1 year ago Link To Comment
The Man "card" was a vehicle kids - get over it and look at the point!!
1 year ago
1 year ago Link To Comment
Wrong--A rock feels no pain, and an island never cries.
1 year ago
1 year ago Link To Comment
This is only the 2nd time I have heard of Bronies and the other time was also on PJ. Is this really a thing???
1 year ago
1 year ago Link To Comment
Yes it is.
1 year ago
1 year ago Link To Comment
Please add to #3;
not be afraid to ride a motorcycle or fly an airplane.
1 year ago
1 year ago Link To Comment
#5 is the only valid one. I'm a big, bearded martial artist and shooter. I continued marital arts after training accidents that broke my ACL and top two cervical vertebrae (I recovered). I happen to match most of Hawkin's points except I often tear up at heroic scenes in movies. But the points are pretty much crap.

You want to tell me if I decide to watch "My Little Pony" I'm not a real man? Say it to my face, punk.
1 year ago
1 year ago Link To Comment
"marital" arts?
Bad timing for an error like that ,Charles.

Movies?

I've seen "Saving Private Ryan" several times. I haven't made it through once without at least tearing up.

Maybe Hawkins should re-visit his Man Card revocation policy - make it a cumulative points thing.
We all should pay careful attention to the guys who play with dolls.
Two points deducted, right now. If five (5) or more are accumulated over a one (1) year period, - Man Card revoked.
1 year ago
1 year ago Link To Comment
I agree with you about women if the woman never has anything positive to say about her man. I have a friend who's getting divorced right now because of that, and several who've already gone through the process.
I have to disagree with you about children's entertainment, though. NOT My Little Pony-my daughters watch that. It's perfect for preschool girls. But X-Men Origins: Wolverine was FANTASTIC. It did a great job of examining what made Logan a man: not just physical toughness, but standing up to overwhelming odds to protect the innocent. Thor and Captain America did the same. Promoting selflessness, sacrifice, heroism, ALL traits of Christ. I think Chuck would approve. By the way, the new Red Dawn was top notch.
1 year ago
1 year ago Link To Comment
work hard, bring home the bacon, satisfy your woman and don't be a pushover on everything
then, you are a man
1 year ago
1 year ago Link To Comment
Okay, Mr. Hawkins; Turn in YOUR "MAN CARD".
Any "journalist" that writes an article in America today, about pleasing their mate, and doesn't include your MAN MATE, is seriously out of touch.
Do you have a tattoo of testicles where the real ones used to be?
1 year ago
1 year ago Link To Comment
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