Success is a journey not a destination. — Anonymous
Many of us act as if success is a permanent state that we’re working to reach. We think, “One day, I’m finally going to be ‘successful’ and then I’ll have it made from there on out.” Unfortunately, life doesn’t work that way. You’re never going to get to the point where you can just kick back, put your life on cruise control, and enjoy “success.” When you get a chance to meet successful people, you find this out. Some of them are falling apart. Some are absolutely miserable. That’s no surprise. It’s tougher, in some respects, to be a success than a failure because you have something to lose and everything can fall apart. Here are some examples of how that can happen.
7) Mike Tyson: Spend Money Frivolously.
There are a lot of negative things you can say about Mike Tyson — so many in fact that you could dispute whether he was ever a “success” in the first place. Still, he became one of the best boxers who ever lived, a world-famous, heavyweight champ who earned $400 million. That sounds like such an enormous amount of money that you almost couldn’t spend it if you tried, but Tyson rose to the challenge. He acquired Siberian tigers, paid 6 figures for jewelry, bought multiple mansions, found a way to spend hundreds of thousands on cell phones and pagers, and spent almost half a million on a birthday party. Next thing you know, a man who made what most folks would consider an inexhaustible supply of money was bankrupt.
This can happen to people more easily than they realize because lifestyle tends to expand to fit income — and sometimes a little beyond. Next thing you know, they catch a bad break or have a drop and they find that they can’t roll their fixed expenses back enough to get in the black. Suddenly they’re in debt, getting further behind each month, and heading towards disaster. It happened with Tyson and it happens with a lot of others.
Good points. I lived through #4 and have yet to recover, but where did you get the idea that Anthony Weiner is attractive? Eek!
I thought the exact same thing! Anthony Weiner is soooo not attractive!
A person “gives in” to mental illness? That assertion shows an extraordinary amount of ignorance.
Also, Walt Disney’s addiction to cigarettes (and smoking was quite accepted during the time he lived, the dangers unrealized) was probably of such a degree, that trying to quit would have damaged his health, once he he was over the age of about 50. You should bother to inform yourself about mental illness and tobacco addiction.
Mental illness can be fought like any other illness. Hughes’ problem was that he initially surrounded himself with people that refused to find him help.
Try again: there were dozens of tobacco-quitting products (probably not too useful, but well-intentioned) on the market, magazine articles, books, lectures by eminent doctors. They KNEW tobacco was harmful and urged people to quit. What they didn’t know how to describe and treat was the mechanism of addiction. Their ability to see how the brain changed was limited – they really only had X-ray.
Paul of Alexandria gave a great answer already about mental illness.
A few seconds of research on the internet reminded me of the truth of the 1930′s-1950′s, which my parents and some intelligent reading told me about. Perhaps you should bother to check the facts yourself before you respond.
Yes. Hughes has a severe obsessive-compulsive disorder, a problem that is hard to treat now and was damn near impossible to treat in the 50′s. Nikola Tesla almost certainly was severely bipolar, and may well have been schizophrenic.
None the less, Hughes pretty much invented the modern airline, invented many things that feature in modern aircraft, managed to set a bunch of records, survived a major crash, and built his Dad’s middling Texas oilfield supplier into one of the biggest companies in the world while apparently not breaking a nail. And Tesla invented the modern world, much more than Edison: radio (look it up), A/C generators, power transmission, efficient electric motors, radio remote control.
Counting those as “wasted lives” and blaming Hughes and Tesla for wasting their lives is really… well, you could have thought this one out better.
Add to your list that Hughes Aircraft built the first geosynchronous communications satellites (Syncom). They developed the standardized Hughes 396 and 601 satellite busses that were the basis for many of the world’s communications satellites. Now part of Boeing, their legacy lives on with the Boeing 702 and 702SP satellite busses.*
*A satellite bus is a standardized design that can host different operational payloads. The main non-mission subsystems (structural, thermal, power, attitude control, command & telemetry, etc) are the same so you save a lot of time and money on R&D.
I have never, ever heard anyone say that quitting smoking over the age of 50 could do more harm than good, and I’ve heard a lot of weird stuff since I’ve been in practice. Sure, it can be stressful- and I have literally had to do a five-point takedown on a person when he had his cigs taken away in the hospital- but it’s not dangerous, like alcohol withdrawal (as Amy Winehouse unfortunately illustrated for us).
Really, quitting cigarets 15 years before you die of lung cancer would have BEEN WORSE?? Yeah, that makes a lot of sense bub. Fact is while a lot of people quit and still die of lung cancer many years in the future, a lot also save their asses.
Every one in my family smoked and every one, no matter what was accepted generally, knew cigaret smoking was bad and I’m talking late 40 and early 50s.
Maybe you better get informed yourself
I’ve worked hard all my life started businesses, tried, succeeded, failed, tried again. I have no complaints I’m happy, but don’t tell me to feel sorry for some moron who makes 400 million and blows it. He’s a moron, to hell with him.
“I have no complaints I’m happy, but don’t tell me to feel sorry for some moron who makes 400 million and blows it. He’s a moron, to hell with him.”
Yup. Thieving manager aside.
Biting a portion of an opponents’ ear off in the 2nd round won’t do much for your professional reputation either.
The comments regarding Nicolai Tesla are tad off mark.
His work with Westinghouse and Edison were groundbreaking, however his wireless transmission of energy in 1891, electrostatic induction, radio controlled boats for the navy, VTOL aircraft, Radar, and dozens of patents and inventions that created foundation for todays electrical grids that power the globe are what cemented his legacy as one of the worlds greatest inventors.
On his death the FBI and US Military confiscated his research, declared it top secret and has been the property of US government ever since.
The military took one of his half baked thoughts and poured tens of billions into it, and created the HAARP projects in Gakona Alaska. It is the backbone of advanced electro-static research.
Don’t forget the Tesla gun. If it wasn’t for that, the agents of Warehouse 13 wouldn’t be able to protect the artifacts and we’d all die horrible (albeit spectacular) deaths.
Excellent article. Only quibble: Huma Abedin married “an attractive, up-and-coming congressman”. I can’t imagine Anthony Weiner as attractive under any circumstances although I will admit it’s probably impossible to separate his personality from his *shudder* body at this point.
I agree! And Huma is quite attractive, but no model.
“She’s a deputy chief of staff and trusted aide to Hillary Clinton.”
I think you meant ‘aid’
You left out Hillary Clinton.
Was she the mistake or the one who made the mistake?
Oh.
“Both.”
Okay.
Len Bias broke my heart. Two of my favorite musicians – Peter Green and Danny Kirwan of the original Fleetwood Mac – combined #1 and #2 to destroy their careers. It all leaves a bitter “what could have been” taste.
Well, let me give you a Paul Harvey or two. Actually men can fail spectacularly at marriage. On Wall Street it was a common story for very rich men to have their wives come home is complete disarray. Trying for broodmares and chatelaines, they get neither.
For Bias, well, a friend and I were having lunch at Jean Lafitte in NYC. We heard an insider discussion. Bias was spectacularly insured, in all things, everything except what got him. His passing was a sad day for all.
One thing. Six of these were obviously the result of bad choices but do you think Hughes went crazy on purpose?
Sometimes people do seem to “give in”.
Sometimes chemicals are out of balance, sometimes physical injuries happen to brains, sometimes heinous behavior by others mis-forms a child’s mind in a way that isn’t very fixable well into adulthood. But there is usually still a varying amount of free will.
Overall this is a good article. It is refreshing to read about how to avoid the pitfalls of life. So much of what is written ignores what really can happen and does happen to people, if only just as a temptation.
There is an older list of seven ways to mess up your life. They’re called deadly sins. I notice that a few of them appear on this list as well (actually, you can find most of them in Tyson’s personal story). But I’ve got to agree with comment #2. Given the level of psychiatric understanding in the 1940′s-1960′s, Hughes didn’t really have a chance.
Neither did Marilyn Monroe.
#1 should probably be Michael Jackson, but Tyson works, too.
“Marrying the wrong person is a mistake from which many people never recover. It can turn a happy life into turmoil, wreck finances, and make people lose trust in other human beings.”
In the end it is your own responsibility to keep such a mistake from ruining your life – but that doesn’t diminish the importance of admonition #4. Things like character, trustworthiness, perspective, productivity, an indomitable spirit and a good heart end up being way more important than the things we unfortunately focus on when we are young.
It seems that, very sadly, #5 might cover my hero, the indispensable Andrew Breitbart. G-d, how he is missed.
But when giants die young, there’s a consolation, albeit small, in remembering the legend of Kleobis and Biton…
Howard Hughes fractured his skull 7 times and a frequently left
out fact about him was that he contacted syphlysis at 18.
“The urge towards stupidity is overwhelming in the human species.”
– Lois McMaster Bujold
Steve Jobs is a pretty spectacular example of not taking care of your health. His pancreatic cancer was actually found at a stage where it was likely to have been curable with surgery (which is pretty darn lucky), but he wasted time with alternative medical treatments and went back to conventional medicine when the tumor progressed. By then it was too late.
It’s actually possible that it was his money that got him killed since he could afford therapies not covered by insurance.
Thanks Alex, Tesla should not be on this list. Tesla was not a salesman or marketing guy. He contributed more (Alternating current & distribution) to modern society than Einstein & was perhaps the greatest mind on the planet then & now. “The more I see of people, the better I like dogs” (MT). At least you can trust a pigeon. Amazingly most people do not even know who he was & what he did. Google his patents …. & read his story.
Very edgy.
But peace is possible.
Trusting God (as in God, not the devil masquerading) is a good starting point.
Great list! And yes, studies now show people give into mental illness. Others refuse it. I know a man who works 90 hours week now after losing the fortune for which he worked 30 years in the economic downturn. His wife has returned to grad school giving up all she has known. Their college-aged children had to go to work and have not finished school. If anyone should be depressed… Instead, they look to their faith and ahead with hope. Though he comes from an wealthy extended family and his mother, without a care, gave into mental illness and suicide This man may work himself to death, but he’ll go there with joy admist the trials.
Deb -
Situational depression is not the same as chronic depression. All you describe about your acquaintance is circumstances. Unless you are privy to his genetic/psychiatric evaluation, you have no idea whether he is mentally ill or not, or genetically predisposed thereto. So opining on his attitude and then drawing conclusions that he is somehow “resisting” mental illness (in his case, depression) is, at best, irrelevant speculation.
That said -
Coming from a large family with chronic depression from one parent and paranoid schizophrenia from the other (YES! I won the genetic lottery!!!), I know just a wee bit about how mental illness is dealt with on the everyday level … or not.
Two of the depressives in my family ended up committing suicide. This was in the pre-Prozac era. All but one of the surviving depressives are now on medication. One will probably still end up a suicide some day … it is a train wreck we can all see coming, and we are just waiting for the phone call.
Of the schizophrenics in the family, I witnessed one on several occasions “restrain” themselves verbally during tirades … i.e. I actually witnessed this person process the crazy words (presumably with some *other* part of the brain that was not in SchizoLand), then dial back the crazy words a couple notches, ending up on a note of sullen mumbling & a decision to not argue with me. BTW I had an extraordinarily close relationship with this person, and I don’t know if it was this affection for our relationship (and/or me) that played a part in their ability to dial it back & not clash with me. But what I witnessed did appear to me to be at least some degree of control exercised over behavior. Schizophrenic thoughts are another can of worms entirely. I don’t believe this person ever had any relief from those, short of anti-psychotic medication (which in those days was Thorazine).
At any rate … both camps (the “mentan illness is something you give into” and the “mental illness is something you have no choice about”) are partially right and partially wrong IMO, based on what I’ve observed at very close range. Nobody chooses to be born with the predisposition toward mental illness or to develop it. But nobody is 100% victim (i.e. having no ability whatsoever to channel, respond, or manage) either. And we now know more, and are able to do more, than we used to … but the human mind/brain is still largely a frontier esp compared to other areas of medicine and biology.
Finally, to those who do not have mental illness nor immediate family with it: Severe mental illness is something straight from the pit of hell. So you will never really “get it” unless you have lived it. So just think a little before you speak, or write, about what you perceive to be the roles of attitude and choice in that situation, if you want to be taken seriously and not cause a giant MEGO with those who do get it.
So let me get this straight: #4 says don’t marry, and #2 says don’t stay alone.
You’re a walking contradiction, Mr. Hawkins. Congratulations.
Withdraw into Mental Illness.??????????????
So he chose to get sick. Really?
Mentalkl illness is genteic , he had no choice.
I would add a corollary to #1 Spend frivolously by getting multiple women pregnant out of wedlock while you have a huge salary, be ordered to pay massive amounts of child support, do drugs, alcohol & prostitutes, and/or invest gargantuan amounts of money in things you know nothing about, then . . . . . have your high-paying career end. It’s a common story: Allen Iverson, Chris Henry, Rocket Ismael, both McAlisters: Deuce & Chris, LT, TO, Willie Nelson, Kim Basinger, Jerry Lee Lewis, MC Hammer, Gary Coleman, Burt Reynolds, to name just a few, and the latest is Dennis Rodman. It’s also not an uncommon story for many lottery winners.
However, the definition of “broke” for these folks is, in all likelihood, quite different from “broke” for the rest of us. Having no cash flow but owning millions in not-immediately-liquid assets (cars, boats, motorcycles, jewelry, homes) is probably not how many of us would define “broke.” The problem is that property taxes, insurance, storage and/or maintenance costs on such assets usually march on, regardless of cash flow or lack thereof.
Is it too complicated to just put money in a bank account, mutual fund or IRA, and live in a regular house, rather than buying Siberian tigers, exotic art & jewelry and live in a king’s mansion? Paint me nutty, but I wouldn’t buy Siberian tigers, no matter how much money I had; I’ll leave that to Siegfried & Roy.
At least Tesla avoided #4. And he even has a car named after him.
A few years ago, I read about a study that was pretty interesting. It stated that if people (especially young women) did 3 simple things, they’d have about an 85% chance of never ending up in poverty. Those 3 things were:
1. Graduate from high school.
2. Don’t have children until you’re married.
3. Don’t get married until you’re at least 22 (> 25 is even better).
I’d add to that list:
4. Avoid addictive behaviors such as drugs, alcohol and gambling.
A former employer of mine lost it all due to a gambling addiction. He was a terrific boss. He founded a company and grew it to over 600 employees with him as the sole owner. He was “The Millionare Next Door”, living in the same modest home the whole time. He did love gambling, though.
When he sold the company for an undisclosed amount (many million dollars), he and his wife moved to Los Vegas and bought their dream mansion. Within a few years, he was divorced and had gambled away all of his money. He was even facing prison time for losing $13 million in a single day and not having enough money to cover the debt. He died broke last year. He was a great boss but his gambling addiction did him in.