There is no good Mexican food on the East Coast. I didn’t really know the truthfulness or realize the extent of this adage before, as a native Angeleno, I moved out to D.C. Not only is it shockingly true, but it’s usually the first topic of conversation between California immigrants out here after asking where you’re from. The last California congressman I sat down with complained about nasty faux Mexican food (to which I heartily agreed) before we began talking legislation.
There are food trucks that line the squares at lunchtime, but not to tell tacos al carbon for a buck. There are a few mom and pop joints, but mostly Salvadoran. When I discovered La Loma restaurant near the Heritage Foundation, I thought it was the best find ever, though I realized it would be rated as OK-to-pretty-good Mexican food in L.A. At least you could mix the rice and beans to the perfect consistency, which is a start out here. But is it too hard to put some meat on two corn tortillas with cilantro and onions, with salsa verde and a side cup of spicy carrots?
This brings to mind a list I came up with during my midway stop from L.A. to D.C., at the Rocky Mountain News in Denver. From SoCal to the Valley, the central coast to across the border, here are signs of a great Mexican restaurant:
- The menu lapses into Spanish without warning
- Our Lady of Guadalupe is behind the counter
- Tamarindo and horchata are on tap
- It’s safer to drink the beer than the water — and Corona is NOT the sole offering
- At least two German tourists have accidentally ordered lengua in the past month
- The restaurant name is not Chevy’s or El Torito (or, out here, Uncle Julio’s Fine Mexican Food)
- The mariachi not only plays there, but eats there as well
- Telenovelas play on a TV mounted on the wall
- The music played includes copious amounts of accordion
- The salsa has never and will never come from a jar
- The tacos spill on the first bite
- There are no “southwest black beans,” just manteca-laden refried beans
- The number of tables usually doesn’t exceed ten
- The view leaves something to be desired, like an old carburetor shop or tacky mercado
- There is no menu item called a “Mexi-melt”
- The Health Department doesn’t always leave happy, but the customers do
no offense, but for Mexican restaurants inside the US border, I do expect the water to be safe to drink, my one concession to gringo life.
Actually my consumption of Mexican food has fallen off the last few years, my favorite hole in the wall is still there and pretty consistent, but my big-name upmarket favorite went to pre-cooking too much of the food, shameful, and I never really did go for the artsy “authentic” places. I just go more often to the heavily Americanized “cantina” on the boulevard, and that’s good enough for me. Maybe ought to try extending their franchise to the east coast, it might work.
You forgot the handwritten sign offering menudo on Saturday
Mismatched table cloths.
Mismathced tables & chairs
Hee, hee. Well, that’s definitely true for California mexican food places!
Horchata doesn’t seem to have penetrated the San Antonio area.
When I lived in the DC area, I got so hungry for mexican food, I went to Chili’s — and they had oregano in the salsa.
HEB stores do feature horchata, both chilled individually or in the carton.
Number 16: Yes! As someone once wrote about eating with your fingers, “Only the best people dare.”
There are no “southwest black beans,” just manteca-laden refried beans
Many- maybe even most- Mexican/Tex Mex joints in Texas offer a choice between refried [pinto] beans and black beans. I prefer black beans and as far as I can recall, have always had the option of black beans at Tex Mex or Interior Mex joints in Texas. While refried beans are typical of northern Mexico and of the southwestern US-Mex food, black beans are typical of southern Mexico and Central America. The mere offering of black beans would not indicate lousy food. Nonetheless, to label black beans as “southwest” is not accurate, as per the above.
However, poorly prepared black beans would indicate lousy food. One time on Route 1 in the Boston area, I got served black beans with NO seasoning whatsoever- not even salt. It was a BIG restaurant, also. Sorta supports your #13 about no more than 10 tables.
There is no menu item called a “Mexi-melt
Indeed. My memory of one “Mexican” joint in NE was of food drowned in melted cheese.
Based on my experience with “Mexican” joints in New England, I would agree with you about not bothering with such in the northeast.
Oh how I love living in Phoenix and travelling to Tucson at least once a week for work for this exact reason. I pass one of these types of places every other block while in town, more often if I’m in Tucson.
You missed a couple of items though:
17. You always get the vague impression that if you spoke spanish well enough that there would be “hidden” items in the menu. Like at In N Out.
18. The red salsa is for tourists. Ask for the green stuff.
19. Coke and Pepsi from Mexico. In a glass bottle and sweetened with cane sugar.
So no good Mexican? There are good Peruvian, Persian (and not just Moby Dicks House of Kabob), Afghan, Salvadoran, Vietnamese, Cuban, Ethiopian, Moroccan, etc. in and around DC. Even in the suburbs, unlike most other cities. When I hear West Coast people yearning about Mexican, I just suggest we broaden horizons.
Why?
Because adults who confine themselves to three types of food like three-year-olds and whine when they’re not available are annoying and ridiculous.
the “cucumbers of egypt” are what, six thousand, five thousand years old, and we still here about them. And, the first travel diary is a reluctant papal legatee going to Byzantium. His complaints are the most vivid description we have of daily life back then. He notices food, clothes, spices, smells, architecture, the works.
You have to admit, you can picture a good mexican restaurant from the author’s description, and all the amendments added there-on.
Why not?
I’ve rarely seen Persian or Afghan food outside of DC (and LA for Persian food). If you’ve never had it, why not try it at least once?
I’ve come to the conclusion is that the closest I will come to good Mexican food in Maryland is the tri-tip Carne Asada sold in the meat case at Trader Joes. Then I still have to go home and cook it!
17. they have good tomatillo salsa
18. they make a great chili relleno (chili relleno is either very good or very bad. there is no such thing as so-so chili relleno)
19. some of the tables and chairs might match but not all.
20. the owners kids and grandkids are around the place when they are little or working there if they are old enough.
Several years ago I dated a wonderful Latina. Her rule about Mexican restaurants was: First – was Chili Relleno on the menu, Second – was it spelled right (the tilde over the n) and Third could the staff pronounce it correctly. If the answer to any of the above was ‘no’ then leave without ordering anything. We left several such and I was never disappointed when she nodded ‘ok’.
Old Bob
First – was Chili Relleno on the menu, Second – was it spelled right (the tilde over the n) and Third could the staff pronounce it correctly.
I have never heard of “relleño,” so I checked the Spanish Royal Academy Dictionary, which said the following
Translated: the word Relleño is not registered in the dictionary. I would consider the Academia Real to be a good source.
Moreover, the Spanish Royal Academy Dictionary has a lot of non-standard words, such as “chingar,” “pelotudo,” and “pendejo.” For some slang words in Latin America for blonde, it has “güero”[Mexico], catire [Venezuela],”mono” [Colombia]. It does not have “canche,” the Guatemalan slang word for Blonde. It seems to me to be a pretty complete dictionary.
I don’t know where your Latina girlfriend was from. But if she said “relleño,” she was definitely not using standard Spanish. I would certainly not use “relleño” as the criteria for good Spanish. It might be border Spanish, like using “troca” for truck. Which is a term one will not hear outside the US, nor find in the Academia Real’s Dictionary.
Good to see that Spain has its own “the natives are restles” oversight committee.
The natives eat chili relleno.
Not everything gets shipped back to the mother country.
“Chili” in English; in Spanish it’s “chile”, as in “chile relleno” (no tilde).
“Chili” is English. “Chile” is Spanish, as in “chile relleno”.
Gringo, Spanish =/= Mexican.
Next thing we know, you’re gonna be telling us that the Mexicans don’t know how to make a proper tortilla, because everyone in Madrid KNOWS it’s made with an egg and/or a potato…..
I have never been to “Ethpaña,” but have traveled or worked from Mexico to Argentina. I learned about the Real Academica Española online dictionary from a Venezuelan. Real Academica Española belongs to the Asociación de Academias de la Lengua Española [Association of Spanish Language Academies], which includes the Mexican version. As the “colonials” have no problem associating with the RAE, I don’t understand your diatribe.
Similarly, though the US has been independent of Great Britain for more than 200 years, we still consider the Oxford English Dictionary to be a good reference. I have never heard of any American being put down for citing the OED. We have enough cultural self-confidence to use the OED. Similarly, Latin Americans have enough cultural self-confidence to cite the RAE. Recall that a Venezuelan turned me on to the RAE online dictionary.
If you know of a more comprehensive online Spanish dictionary than the RAE’s, please inform me.
¿Me entendés?
Absolutely spot on with your #20 Wade!! My fav place in Lafayette Colorado has many of the owners family hanging round the place, playing or learning the trade. Owners cousin was head chef for years, went home to Mexico for a couple. Quality of food dropped immediately, although it was still best in town, IO. When he returned, “Hallelujah” the Chicken chimichanga returned to it’s former top of my menu choice!!
And I wouldn’t know which table was “ours” if they all matched!!
Good list.
you’re dead on about a good chile relleno. If they can’t do that right, I never come back. My half-korean stepkids just love, love, love a certain big chain tex-mex place and it stinks. I wouldn’t eat there if you paid me, because I grew up in L.A…enuf said. When the hubby and I go down to Baja we hit a particular roadside taco stand and pig out daily. It’s heaven! If only DC had something so simple…ah, I can almost taste it.
Wade, I agree–the way to rate a Mexican restaurant is by the way the chile rellenos taste.
No.17: It’s in Mexico.
I used to travel on business to Tijuana and Guadalajara quite frequently.
Let me add a couple…
For TJ
1.) Futbol is playing on the TV. Playing very very loudly.
2.) Restaurant may or may not be a restaurant. Hey, they serve food.
3.) They give discounts for US currency.
For Guadalajara
1.) Huge array of Tequila on display at the restaurant “foyer” Remember… Don Julio IS your friend…
I’d say- plastic lawn chairs on the patio.
don’t they have horchata in the grocery stores next to the orange juice boxes, in san antonio? they’ve got it here in austin, and we’ve got more gringoes than you.
Actual people of Mexican-descent, heritage or recent immigration eating there.
Mexican bull-riding or Liga Mexicana soccer games on the TV.
Jarritos and Mexican coke.
I laugh at people who talk about “Mexican” food. I laugh because they don’t know what they’re talking about.
What most people think of as “Mexican” food is actually Tex-Mex. That is, it originated in southern Texas and northern Mexico. It’s most accurately described as Norteño.
The fajita was invented 20 miles from where I live. Yep, by a butcher named Smith-sound like a “Mexican” to you?–in 1972. He was the first butcher that decided not to throw away skirt steak but to sell it. And he called it a fajita.
Enchiladas, tacos (crispy or soft), fajitas, guacamole, salsa, pico de gallo, “Spanish” rice, refried beans, what have you, all come from this area.
Go to southern California and order carne guisada. It is not what you would get in southern Texas. Know why? Because the “Mexicans” in southern California come from different parts of Mexico. They use different recipes and spices. You won’t find real carne guisada north of Falfurias, south Texas.
Oh, and Taco Bell? That’s a phone company, or it should be anyway, because it is definitely not a “Mexican” restaurant. It isn’t even Tex-Mex. It’s just cheap corporate garbage.
You want real “Mexican” food? Come to south Texas. Try Mrs. G’s, Casa del Taco, or El Pato. Then you’ll know.
I laugh at these people who traipse around LA, Denver, and DC, talking about “Mexican” food, as if that makes them sophisticated. But then there is no substitute for taste. The real shame is pretending you have any, when you don’t. Especially when you’ve never had real “Mexican” food, or Tex-Mex, in your life.
Here in Arizona we have what can be best described as ‘Sonoran Mex’, which has a distinctively different flavor than Tex-Mex.
The only freaking good Mexican food is from South Texas?!!? I haven’t had a good mexican meal since I moved to Corpus from Fort Worth 12 years ago. The mexican food in South Texas is bland crap!! Or should I say “Norteño” in a condescending manner.
Dude, I don’t buy the whole idea that Tex-Mex is not real Mexican food. If you check a map from the old days, Texas, NM and Arizona once were part of Mexico. When they became American, that didn’t make the Mexicans living there any less Mexican culturally. No matter how Tex-Mex evolved, it evolved from Mexican foods.
I think its more accurate to talk about Mexican food as a family of foods which differs by region. Regardless, I love it in all of its forms. But I get really annoyed by the snobby attitudes of some people who proclaim that one regional variety and one only is “real” Mexican food. That would be like saying that Boston baked beans are “real” American food while Cajun is not. The area of Mexican cultural heritage is every bit as big as our own. Why not enjoy all of the variety that it has to offer?
Absolutely right, Peggy.
Dude, I don’t buy the whole idea that Tex-Mex is not real Mexican food.
Gawain’s Ghost apparently agrees with you. Gawain’s Ghost said the following:
That is, GG described Tex-Mex as belonging to a subset of Mexican cuisine: Norteño. That is by and large accurate.
While you are at it, ask someone from south of the Rio Grande if the following foods are Mexican: chile con carne, nachos, breakfast tacos, fajitas, nacho pie.
Also ask someone from south of the Rio Grande where the accordions and polkas of Norteño music came from. Seven will get you eleven that someone from south of the Rio Grande will not give the accurate answer: from the Czechs and Germans that came to central Texas in the 19th century.
Here in Tejas, we have both Mex-Mex and Tex-Mex and both can be excellent although the Tex-Mex predominates.
Agreed
GG – Eating at a Taco Bell, “South of the Border” or El Torito in southern California doesn’t make you an expert on “Mexican food” here in “LA.” Sorry.
this thread isn’t about taco bell. although, replicable, repeatable fast food joints are a native American type of food. Franchises, too.
I don’t know where Taco Bell started, but I’d point out that it’s not “liberty bell” – serving cones of boston baked beans, and it’s not “frere jacques bells” serving fast fried frog legs- fast french food. it’s serving fast, mexican food.
And for real aficionados, I’ve overheard discussions about how doritoes, for frito pies, taste different in Dallas, near the factory, as opposed to Houston, where they get trucked a day later or so. Or the really hardcore- soft tacos vs hard shell, the roasting affecting the flavor of the other ingredients, as they interact on the tongue. just saying….
And don’t tell me that frito pie and a Friday night homecoming football game don’t stand up against a medieval jousting match.
What you desire is a taqueria not a restaurant.
True dat!
I’m convinced that 90% of mexican dishes are identical. The only thing differentiating them is the placement of the enchilada. If it’s at the 2:00 position it’s a #1. If the enchilada is at the 6:00 position it is a #2. And so forth….
Just kidding. When I first moved to California, I found Mexican food somewhat monotonous. But now I’ve fallen in love with it. Especially Tomatillo Steak. Yummy.
– if you can spit blue fire after you eat, it’s an authentic Mexican eatery.
In Texas, I look for frothy fresh red salsa, tortilla chips that are still sizzling when they are put on the table and a free cup of bean soup spiked with ham or bacon and jalapenos.
Here in Tejas, we have both Mex-Mex and Tex-Mex and both can be excellent although the Tex-Mex predominates. Still I think the above items should be added to the list.
When I was living in Ireland, which has some Mexican food but of a variety so atrocious, it would make East Coast Mexican look good, I would go to bed some nights dreaming of my favorite Tex-Mex place and those sizzling tortilla chips. Thoughts of eating them again kept me going until I could make it back home.
I have exactly one requirement. Dos Equis Amber. Not the light stuff. A couple of them, and I’m fairly tolerant of the rest.
True story: I take the family to ‘El Imperial’ on Federal Rd (east Houston). Me and the wife, and two boys, seven and four. After looking over the menus, the youngest wants a hamburger. Not on The menu. The waiter says “no problem, we can do a kid’s meal.” He turns in our orders. Then he walks out the door, across the parking lot, to a Wendy’s. Come’s back with a kid’s meal, which he sets down in front of Josh.
The Mexican food was excellent as well.
(By the way, he got a substantial tip.)
To say that the East Coast doesn’t have good Mexican food is a gross generalization. Roosevelt Avenue in Queens, NYC, has some of the best Mexican food in the country made mostly by immigrants from Puebla and Veracruz. Tamal vendors dot corners in the morning, and it is even possible to get fresh masa made from nixtamalized corn, a luxury that many parts of LA cannot boast about.
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“as a native Angeleno … to D.C.”
I’m a gringo who fell in love with Sonoran cooking during a quarter-century in southern AZ. Seems you can’t find that anywhere else in this country.
Heartfelt Commiserations
Tejan here.
Angelena? Please, stop. Right. There.
By the way, the best Tex-Mex I’ve eaten outside of Tejas? Milwaukee. Under the clock tower. No bull.
Tex-Mex!
When my ex & I moved to NoVA in 2001, we despaired of finding decent Mexican food – the chains were awful!!!!!! Then we stumbled over a place with a plethora of Texas license plates in the parking lot (W was still in office). I can’t for the life of me remember the name, but the food was spot on, and qualified under several of the above mentioned rules. So, my Texas plates joined the others in the parking lot on a regular basis.
(sign said something like “so Mexican it might not be safe to drink the water”)
as for a tilde in “relleno” – don’t think I’ve EVER seen that…
also, I’ve never seen anyone hit Cinco de Mayo as hard as Northern VA chain “Mexican” restaurants…
I prefer the taco trucks in east LA, late at night.
Don’t forget the lime jello
I don’t know from Tex mex, ordinarily disparative in my book.
New York may be the place to get upscale Mexican cuisine, ie. Huachinango ala Veracruzana, whole red snapper smothered with tomatoes, onions, olives and chiles en escabeche and baked to perfection. Every trip to Texas has disappointed me in this regard. I so wanted to find Chiles en Nogada in San Antonio last September, no such luck …
Sadly, most U.S. attempts at quality Mexican food are bogus – French trained chefs serving overpriced French food with Mexican ingredients.
Luckily, an adventure in the Barrio might just result in Birria, Cabrito, Milanesa or other nice treats.
Look for the lime jello and orchata and you just might find some nice Carnitas or even Carne Adovada, my personal favorite.
The best sign of a good Mexican restaurant? Mexicans.
For those in the Boston area, try Tu Y Yo in Somerville and La Tapatia in Marlboro.
Tapatia is a traditional taqueria; the type of place where you will find the menudo-on-Saturday sign. Best taqueria I have found in Boston (better than Taqueria Mexico in Waltham, which is acceptable).
Tu Y Yo is very unusual, authentic Mexican with a fine-food sensibility–not gussied up, just very high quality with a lot of attention to detail. A nice touch and good sign is that many of the dishes on the menu are credited to the family member who created the recipe.
I am fortunate enough to live in Northern California, but you have to go down around Salinas and Monterey County’s lettuce towns to get the real deal.
One good indicator I always look for are guys drinking tall chavela preparadas that are nowhere to be found on he menu.
Its pretty much a Mexican Bloody Mary with beer, clamato juice, salsa picante, some times a shot of tequila, slices of orange lemon and lime all served in beer schooners that have the rims decorated with cold steamed prawns.
Goes best with a big bowl of hangover dissipating menudo or birra.
Oh, man..Now I’m hungry.
I find it interesting that all of “Mexican” Cuisine has been only attributed to the border regions of Mexico. Mexico is a huge country with as many different influences. Travel to central Mexico or to Mexico city and you will find a totally different style of cooking that is rich in heritage. Much of which is carried from traditional Spanish cuisine. I live in San Diego and we have a lot of restaurants that are based on the Baja style of cooking. BTW, if you are ever in Atlanta check out Zocalo restaurant. They serve central Mexican food and have the best Mole ever.