When actual Elvis impersonators are doing actual ricin attacks, satire is officially dead. #BeamMeUp
— David Burge (@iowahawkblog) April 18, 2013
And how. Here’s a news article today from the Ganett-owned Clarion Ledger of Jackson, Mississippi:
Who is Paul Kevin Curtis, the Mississippi man the FBI arrested Wednesday in connection to letters with traces of ricin sent to President Barack Obama and Sen. Roger Wicker?
Curtis, a Corinth resident, might be better known to some as a celebrity impersonator.
According to GigSalad.com, a website dedicated to booking live entertainers, Curtis does impersonations of “70 of the biggest names in music history,” including Elvis, Johnny Cash, Prince, Bon Jovi and Kenny Chesney.
On the website, Curtis goes by the stage name “KC,” which was used in the letters sent to Obama and Wicker and to Lee County Justice Court Judge Sadie Holland.
“I am KC and I approve this message,” the letters read.
The Blaze adds a photo apparently of Curtis, pointing a thumbs-up to a bumper sticker on his(?) Lexus that states, “Christian and a Democrat,” for what it’s worth. Plus this:
In a separate 2007 post on RipOffReport.com, a man going by the name “Kevin Curtis” references sending several letters to Sen. Wicker and other lawmakers about some legal troubles. He also claims he ran into Sen. Wicker on another occasion:
I sent letters to State Representative Roger Wicker, Senator Trent Lott and Thad Cochran. I never heard a word from anyone. I even ran into Roger Wicker several different times while performing at special banquets and fundraisers in northeast, Mississippi but he seemed very nervous while speaking with me and would make a fast exit to the door when I engaged in conversation leading up to my case against NMMC.
The Kevin Curtis from Mississippi who wrote the post on RipOffReport.com is clearly disgruntled over allegedly being fired years ago from the North Mississippi Medical Center after he claims he found “dismembered body parts” and a “severed head” backing up the hospital’s drainage system. He claims he received death threats and was threatened by police over the incident.
Want even more weirdness? If this astonishing story proves out, Curtis won’t be the first Elvis impersonator to be associated with ricin in Google. A search — and here are two words I never thought I’d be typing into Google — using the words Elvis and ricin brings up this item from February of last year at the Huffington Post:
You ain’t nothin’ but a diabetic bomb hoaxer, cryin’ to the cops.
Michael Conley, a 64-year-old Elvis impersonator, allegedly locked himself inside a Florida motel Monday along with his 28-year-old son, after Ft. Pierce cops came to arrest him on an outstanding warrant.
Authorities say Conley held up a vial filled with white powder, claiming that it was Ricin, a poisonous plant byproduct that could kill a human with very little exposure. The suspect also claimed to have C-4 explosives.
A day later Conley allegedly blamed his behavior on diabetes, The Miami Herald reported.
“[The alleged Ricin] was just salt,” Conley told the Herald in a jailhouse interview. “I apologize to the public. I was disoriented.”
Right about now, I know exactly how feels. Well, maybe not exactly.
In any case, Malcolm Muggeridge, call your office…
While Malcolm Muggeridge was the editor of Punch, it was announced that Khrushchev and Bulganin were coming to England. Muggeridge hit upon the idea of a mock itinerary, a lineup of the most ludicrous places the two paunchy pear-shaped little Soviet leaders could possibly be paraded through during the solemn process of a state visit. Shortly before press time, half the feature had to be scrapped. It coincided exactly with the official itinerary, just released, prompting Muggeridge to observe: We live in an age in which it is no longer possible to be funny. There is nothing you can imagine, no matter how ludicrous, that will not promptly be enacted before your very eyes, probably by someone well known.
Bombing at Boston Marathon, mushroom cloud over Texas, Elvis ricin attack, presidential temper tantrum. #newsinbrief
— David Burge (@iowahawkblog) April 18, 2013
Update: Through the looking glass, indeed:
Update: “Where Greta discovers alleged Ricin letter sender is a member of Mensa:”
Through. The. Looking. Glass.
By the way, we should send a link to the Lady Liberty blog, for apparently going down the rabbit hole first on this absolutely surreal story.