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Ed Driscoll

The Discontents And Their Civilization

May 29th, 2010 - 10:24 am

As Frank J. Fleming writes on the PJM homepage, “There really is no one better suited to talk to conservatives about the dangers of extreme rhetoric than liberals:”

You can’t really know what someone else is thinking, so talk of other people’s motivation is always guessing to a certain extent. But every person knows what he himself is thinking; that can be said with authority. Thus, with a bit of introspection mixed in, I think conservatives would listen more to a liberal’s warning about over-heated rhetoric than we would even listen to a fellow conservative on the subject.

How? Think of the powerful message that liberals could deliver:

“Conservatives, your rhetoric is completely over the top. It is destructive. Know how bad it is? It reminds us of ourselves during the Bush years. That’s right: If you keep this up, you could wind up JUST LIKE US!”

Wow. Conservatives would sit up and listen to that message. They’d be crying, “You mean we could be screaming in mindless protests, waving giant papier-mâché puppets around? I don’t even know how to do papier-mâché! Please help us stop!”

Really, no one can speak with more authority about rhetoric becoming overheated than liberals, based on their conduct during the Bush years. They were calling him BusHitler, denying he could ever have good motives for anything he did, and they were so embroiled in their own hate-filled rhetoric as to place themselves completely outside of reasonable debate. If conservatives ever thought they were becoming like that, it would be a huge eye-opener. So there really is no one better suited to talk to conservatives about the dangers of extreme rhetoric than liberals. It’s like how you have former drug addicts talk about the dangers of drugs, because they personally know the horrors of drug addiction.

Of course, with liberals lately, it’s more like someone who is obviously high coming on stage with a needle sticking out of his arm and smoking pot, saying, “You guys need to stop doing drugs so you can be sober like me, man.” It’s not really convincing anyone. And their ideas on what kind of rhetoric leads to violence seems questionable.

Like, I’ve heard a lot of concern over how Sarah Palin put up a map with crosshairs on all the congressional districts she was targeting for takeover, as if that might lead to violence. Is that based on introspection? Are liberals saying that if they were exposed to the image of crosshairs, they would start hurting people? Or is this once again them saying that something is not true for them but true for everybody else? I’d excuse people if they didn’t trust liberals on their abilities to predict human behavior, because if the left were able to do that, they wouldn’t have been caught so off guard by tea parties forming in the first place.

And speaking of Palin, guest blogging for Iowahawk this weekend is “the Sarah Palin Homunculus that Lives Inside Liberals’ Heads:”

Ya know, as much as I go off and complain about those goshdarn Washington and Hollywood elites, I gotta say those folks are just about the most welcoming, hospitable people on God’s green earth. I swear, once they invite you in their head, they’ll insist you help yourself their last neuron! Take that Tina Fey for instance. She’s pretty much given me the run of her place, rent free. Her id says it’s because she has severe body image anxieties, but if you ask me I think she’s just lonely and needs somebody to talk to.Say, do you mind if I use your little girl’s room? I just realized I’m going into labor. Back in a jiff!

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Phew! Sorry that took so long, it was triplets this time. Aren’t they adorable? This is one is Calc, this is Tangent, this is Locust. I tell them apart by their chubby… widdo… fingos.. coochie coochie coochie! Oh. Oh, darn, I am so, so, so sorry. And here your ego just mentioned to me that thing about your repressed Electra complex and your fertility inadequacy issues. I hope you realize I didn’t mean to insult or belittle you or anything by giving birth just now. I don’t know what it is, but I just can’t help having those babies!

Now where were we? Oh yes, Tina Fey. Now, just the other day Tina… umm… is everything all right? I mean, you have the strangest look in your subthalamus. Oh…! Oh, this. The bikini. Funniest thing. Turns out once I’m inside a liberal’s head, It’s like poof! Off with the clothes. I tell ya, it’s gotten to the point that I really don’t even notice it anymore. No, don’t be embarrassed or ashamed, most of your friends don’t even give me the bikini.

Whoa! Did you feel that? I think I felt a little earthquake! Oh — I see. It was just you, banging your head against the stair banister trying to get me out of it. Trust me, you might as well give up on that, because it’s not gonna work. Just ask Tina Fey.  Say, what’s this on your coffee table – a scrapbook? Goodness sakes, I love scrapbooking! It’s so much fun isn’t it? And such a wholesome pastime to keep American families connected. Do you mind if I take a look at yours?

Now that’s different… I gotta say I don’t think I’ve ever seen this many pictures of me in one place. And all of them with the eyes cut out! Now, maybe I never went to a fancypants college like you did, but I can tell that is very artsy and avant garde. I wonder what it means? No, no — don’t give me any hints! Is it some kind of latent pathological response to the struggle between your libidinal and destrudinal impulses?

Are you okay? You don’t look so well. That’s a good idea — let’s go out on the deck and get some fresh spring air. Boy, you sure have a lot of telescopes and binoculars and listening devices out here! Are you an amateur astronomer? Well then, you sure as heck picked a great spot. You can’t beat Alaska for stargazing this time of year!

Well, I’ll be darned — did you know I can see all the way to Sarah Palin’s house from your occipital?

In related news, as Glenn Reynolds writes, here’s your headline of the day.