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Dr. Helen

Study: Nagging Kills!

May 10th, 2014 - 8:07 am

I saw this headline at Drudge and immediately went over to check out the article at CBS New York titled “Study: Nagging By A Spouse Could Shorten Your Life”:

NEW YORK (CBSNewYork) — It is a part of marriage that everyone loathes – the occasional or, in some cases, constant nagging between spouses.

And as CBS 2’s Scott Rapoport reported Friday, word has now come that nagging is not only annoying, but can even be life-threatening.

Ask any married guy on the planet and he’ll tell you, as one man told CBS 2, nagging is “not pleasant.”

But now a new study suggests husbands of nagging wives can actually be nagged to death.

Danish researchers from the University of Copenhagen said having a nagging partner can significantly shorten one’s life, and could result in three extra deaths per 100 people per year.

The study also said people nagged by their spouses are more likely to get heart disease and cancer.

“Sounds about right,” said Stephanie Cellitti. “I nag him a lot.”

The study also says men in particular are at risk.

I truly believe this, having counseled and talked to many men over the years who have been nagged and harassed by their spouse, some to the point of severe depression and heart disease. I can always tell if a man’s relationship is going poorly by how many times a wife or girlfriend calls him on the phone to tell him to do something or ask where he is. Naturally, if a man does this to a woman, it is abuse. Society doesn’t care if a woman nags and hassles a guy 24/7. Even the unempathetic women in the article mentioned that they weren’t going to stop. So, it’s up to men to protect themselves, at least until changes can be made, if ever.

My advice for those men not already married wondering if she would make a good wife? If she calls or texts multiple times a day to ask you to do something or asks what you are doing, she is probably going to continue this negative behavior. Take this as a sign that something many be wrong with the relationship and do not get too involved. It is not worth your health and certainly not your life.

What are other forms of nagging that you have witnessed that you feel are negative influences on men’s health?

Comments are closed.

Top Rated Comments   
We're 5+ years into the Obama Administration. If nagging kills, shouldn't all of us be dead by now?
23 weeks ago
23 weeks ago Link To Comment
My ex would call me at the office multiple times a day. If I didn't answer my office phone, she would immediately call my cell phone. If I didn't answer that, I'd get a snarky email or voice mail telling me that whenever I'd finished doing whatever was more important than whatever she wanted I should call.

I've been free for ten years and never looked back.
23 weeks ago
23 weeks ago Link To Comment
We burned through six marriage counsellors. If they honed in on my disfunctional family history she said they were ignoring her and fired them. If they dug too deep on why she always seemed angry she got defensive and withdrawn and very quickly fired them.
When I tried to make her happy it was always the wrong thing. When I simply tried to survive I was being passive aggressive.
I finally moved out and filed for divorce. She was actually astounded that I didn't want to be with her any more.
Much later came to realize that to her a husband was the punching bag she required to take out all her frustrations from an active career and issues with her family. That was not the deal I signed up for so I got out of an intolerable situation. I now lead a relatively stress free life and expect I will survive many years longer than if I had remained married.
I do have a number of lady friends and acquaintances, but would never again allow myself to be put in a situation where anyone had that much control over my life.
23 weeks ago
23 weeks ago Link To Comment
All Comments   (94)
All Comments   (94)
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You may enjoy my blog post King solomon's Rainy Day Thought for and added perspective to this article.

Sohttp://rudymartinka.wordpress.com/2014/05/20/king-solomons-rainy-day-thought/

Regards and good will blogging.
21 weeks ago
21 weeks ago Link To Comment
Q: Why do men die earlier?
A: They want to.
23 weeks ago
23 weeks ago Link To Comment
Time for a poster campaign in every major American suburb: "Teach women not to nag."
23 weeks ago
23 weeks ago Link To Comment
There's a more generic one: you must train people in how to treat you.

People stop nagging if there's a perceived cost... and they will do other things instead if there's a perceived reward.
23 weeks ago
23 weeks ago Link To Comment
I have a lot of sympathy for women today. Society coddles them and tells them that as long as they keep smiling and looking pretty, everything will work out just fine. Their protective bubble makes them easy prey for the Bill Clintons of the world and all the idiotic ideology those male predators promulgate. Men who are down on the women of today should try talking to middle-aged divorcees or single women over the age of 45, or women of any age who don't fit Hollywood's attractiveness mold. These mature women see through the B.S. and are much more sympathetic to intelligent, sincere men. This crappy culture of ours victimizes both sexes.
23 weeks ago
23 weeks ago Link To Comment
I think many people would do well to learn the art of timing. There are several times throughout the day when you should not ever hit them with a complaint or a request. When they first wake up, when they first get home from work (or school) or when they're heavily involved with something else.

This applies to both genders, and offspring.
23 weeks ago
23 weeks ago Link To Comment
I guess I am blessed. The only things my wife nags me about are things I deserve to be nagged about.

For instance, limping around on a knee and not calling the doctor; not immediately calling my Mom to wish her Mother's Day; running my mouth in public when I shouldn't, and only then when it is just the two of us.

I guess I am blessed. Looks fade, we all grow old and riches are way overrated.

But the love a forgiving woman, wonderful mother to your children, most selfless person you ever met, and best friend?

That's a gift only God can provide.

And apparently, I got one of the rare ones. :)
23 weeks ago
23 weeks ago Link To Comment
Several comments have asked how/why a man would put up with such a nagging woman. That's easy. A man wants a beautiful woman above all else and if he has what it takes to attract such a woman (handsome appearance, wealth, status, etc.) he will put up with a lot of B.S.. At least for a while, or until she loses her looks, whereupon he dumps her and goes for a "trophy wife".
23 weeks ago
23 weeks ago Link To Comment
My first wife and I divorced after 5 years. I will second the description of the joy of waking up the morning after the divorce was final, however for me the real moment of freedom was when we separated. I had my own apartment, and the moment that I brought the last load of my stuff to my new home and realized that I no longer had to walk on eggshells in my own home; the relief was overwhelming.

I paid my child support for both kids. Up until my daughter, who was being abused by my ex, was 13. It cost me a fortune, but I got custody then and probably saved her from suicide. She has nothing to do with her birth mother.

I remarried, and we have been married for 33 years, have raised 3 kids of our own, and my daughter from my first marriage to adulthood. I consider myself to be lucky to be married to my wife, and stupid to have married my first. I should have recognized the crazy. And I should have paid attention to the family she grew up in, which was Chiroptera feces crazy.

Another angle to the male abuse, and I don't want to get into a chicken-or-egg argument; is the nature of our culture. More and more I am taking note of TV shows and commercials. You can look for a long time and not find a male portrayed as being basically competent at life. Not a super hero, just competent at managing his life. And it is always the "superior" woman who rescues him. This has been going on for a couple of generations. Women are taught in the popular culture that their opinions are superior, and men are incompetent. And men are taught to accept that as true.

To be honest, until our society goes through the SHTF moment that is probably coming and reality imposes itself; this cultural bias is not going to change.

Subotai Bahadur
23 weeks ago
23 weeks ago Link To Comment
"More and more I am taking note of TV shows and commercials. You can look for a long time and not find a male portrayed as being basically competent at life."

Not just TV. Even children's books. Check out the very popular "Berenstein Bears".

Here's the story line: Dad Bear is an idiot. The children and wife go through the book rolling their eyes and rescuing idiot Dad. Oh, there is some kind of story line on top of this, but it's merely the delivery mechanism for the important message.


23 weeks ago
23 weeks ago Link To Comment
Indeed. I've long ago given up watching any mainstream sitcom simply because all the men are portrayed as enfeebled dopes perpetually in need of "retraining" by some type of put upon Matriarchal Heroine. Everybody Loves Raymond, Home Improvement, you name it. Heck, at least the crass Al Bundy was allowed to get his shots in back in the early 90's.

On a semi-side note, I've noticed on any type of Christian-themed show or one where general Christian values were on display, such as 7Th Heaven, there was far, far less of any of the above nastiness you described. I do not partake of the faith, but I certainly respect the general sense of love and respect conferred between spouses in shows like that.

Sadly, I agree with you 100% that the only thing that will wake America from its slumber is a SHTF moment. Wheat will necessarily be separated from chaff by the cold, hard reality of who, exactly, is incompetent to survive it and who isn't.
23 weeks ago
23 weeks ago Link To Comment
Bottom line, as in most human endeavors:

Nagging = a quest for power.

Right, Helen? (chirp...chirp...)
23 weeks ago
23 weeks ago Link To Comment
Great blues song appropriate here I think, best rendition by 
The late, great Stevie Ray Vaughan:

KENNY WAYNE SHEPHERD
I'm Leaving You (Commit A Crime) Lyrics

I'm leaving you, woman
Before I commit a crime
I'm leaving you, woman
Before I commit a crime
You tried so hard to kill me
But baby, it was not my time

You put poison in my coffee
Instead of milk or cream
You put poison in my coffee
Instead of milk or cream
You're the evilest woman
I think I've ever seen

You mix my drink
With a can of Red Devil lye
You mix my drink
With a can of Red Devil lye
Then you sit right down
Watch me, hoping I might die

I'm leaving you woman
Before I commit some crime...
23 weeks ago
23 weeks ago Link To Comment
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