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Dr. Helen

Bleg: Anyone Know of Good Attorneys for Men?

September 5th, 2013 - 3:38 pm

Suzanne Venker and I are putting together a supportive website for men to help find resources for various legal or emotional issues. We would like to list names of attorneys who specialize in family law in various states and are “male-friendly;” also therapists. If you are such an attorney/therapist or know of one, let me know in the comments. Please be sure to indicate their location, and include a link to their website if possible. Thanks!

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All Comments   (13)
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Central PA, John King

http://www.theguysattorney.com/

Reasonable fees. Aggressive, but doesn't turn off judges with theatrics. I think if I had hired him, I would've saved $5K and had better representation. My attorney mainly seemed to photocopy letters from the ex's lawyer to send me a copy with a cover sheet and a bill for $90 (for all the "work" involved in photocopying and stuffing in an envelope). I swear I spent $5K in just copy/mail costs of different letters.
46 weeks ago
46 weeks ago Link To Comment
Everybody in North Florida who listens to sports talk radio knows to "call Kenny Leigh".

The link name sums it up: http://menonlyfamilylawonly.com/

46 weeks ago
46 weeks ago Link To Comment
In the Nashville and Memphis areas of TN Cordell & Cordell specialize in mens rights matters especially for divorce and custody matters

www.cordellcordell.com
46 weeks ago
46 weeks ago Link To Comment
Same here in Indianapolis -- I heard a radio ad yesterday for attorneys specializing in representing men in divorce cases. "You've worked hard... love your kids .. have built up a substantial retirement savings .."
46 weeks ago
46 weeks ago Link To Comment
Don't know a lawyer, but had a great therapist.

SE PA western suburbs of Philadelphia, Matthew (Matt) Gelber, The Weldon Center Psychotherapy in Malvern, PA

46 weeks ago
46 weeks ago Link To Comment
This is a great idea. A few good places to go for information and referrals are

http://www.familylawinc.com/fathers-rights/?mm_campaign=e39ded2f7b653ad4d97e80415a03d708&keyword=Fathers%20rights&utm_source=Texas-F-R&utm_medium=CPC&utm_campaign=Father-Rights-Texas

and nationalcenterformen.org

and http://www.mensrights.com/ (Cordell & Cordell support this group).

That said, Dr. Helen, I don't know how succesful this effort will be. I also think that "male-friendly" is not the proper term; male-supportive may be more accurate.

It is true that men need legal advice to protect their rights during a divorce and custody settlement. Actually, they need legal advice about their rights prior to marriage. Because after the fact all a lawyer can really do is lessen how severely the soon-to-be-former husband gets screwed in court.

And it is true that some men will benefit from therapy while struggling with the emotional issues involved in a divorce. But those emotional issues stem from the legal issues. So all therapy and legal advice can really do is help men in the transition to acceptance. As well as cost them even more money, as if they haven't lost enough already.

I know guys who have been married two, three, four times, gotten screwed in divorce court each and every time, some forced to pay child support for children that are not theirs, and yet still want to get married again. This is the definition of insanity, doing the same thing and expecting a different result. No amount of legal advice or therapy can help these guys.

The real problem here is with the law. All other problems, emotional and financial, stem from that. Until the law is changed, nothing is going to change. All a lawyer can do is advise a man of his rights, or which there are few, under the law. All a therapist can do is help a man cope with that fact.

I am not a therapist. In fact, I've never taken a course in psychology or psychiatry, and I don't know anything about these fields, other than what I've gleamed from articles and books. But it's not like I haven't had more than a few guys come over to my house and cry on my shoulder because their wife is divorcing them or their wife cheated on them and stuck them with child support for another man's bastard. I listen to them, and I do not judge them. My therapeutic advice is, hey man drink a beer, listen to some rock and roll. Everything is going to be okay. Just don't be so stupid as to make the same mistake again.

And then they go out and get married again, and get divorced and foreclosed on. I can't help these guys. They come to me for advice and support. I give it to them, and they turn around and do the same stupid thing over again.

There is no solution to this problem unless the law is changed. Lawyers can give advice, therapists can provide comfort, but untill the law is changed, it's nothing more than moving deck chairs on a ship that ran into an iceburg and sank.

There can be no real men's rights movement that is not focussed on changing the law. If there are not fundamental changes made to the marriage contract, this vicious cycle will continue. And men will continue to suffer for it.

The laws are exploitative of men. The courts are discriminatory against men. Academia and the media are derogatory toward men. Untill that changes, the only option for men is to opt out.

Why expose yourself to betrayal, abandonment and bankruptcy? Why submit to humiliation? Why? Why get married agian and again, only to be ruined for it every time? It doesn't make any sense.

There can be no successfual men's rights movement that does not focus on changes in the law. Until men wrap their minds around that fact, all the legal advice and therapy are irrelevant. It's just like the old country and western song, "Pissing in the Wind."
46 weeks ago
46 weeks ago Link To Comment
Kris Algert, also Austin, Texas.
46 weeks ago
46 weeks ago Link To Comment
Sorry, forgot the site: www.ausley-algert.com
46 weeks ago
46 weeks ago Link To Comment
Thanks for these names so far!
46 weeks ago
46 weeks ago Link To Comment
Shane McFarland, Austin TX.
47 weeks ago
47 weeks ago Link To Comment
47 weeks ago
47 weeks ago Link To Comment
Your husband.
47 weeks ago
47 weeks ago Link To Comment
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