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Dr. Helen

The Daily Beast: “In Cases of Domestic Violence, Men are Also Victims”:

There is great similarity between female and male victims and their abusers. The biggest difference is that male victims find themselves in the same position women were 30 years ago. Their problem is viewed as of little consequence, or they are to blame, and their are few available resources for male victims. Three-quarters of the men who contact an abuse shelter or hotline report that the agency would provide services only to women, and nearly two-thirds were treated as the abuser rather than the victim.

University of New Hampshire researcher Murray Straus calls it “selective inattention” because of the total emphasis on female victims, despite what research has shown since 1977. Straus and his colleagues found that in minor violence, the incident rates were equal for men and women. In cases of severe violence, more men were victimized than women, with 1.8 million women victims of severe violence and 2 million male victims of severe violence a year. Women suffer a greater amount of total injuries ranging from mild to serious, but when it comes to serious injuries where weapons and object use come into play, the injury rate may be about the same.

The culture always tells us that women are more likely than men to suffer serious injury in domestic violence, but that is not true. There seem to be more of these articles lately that point out female on male domestic violence. It’s a start.

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All Comments   (11)
All Comments   (11)
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@Mountain Maven
The keys here are: 1. Be and old-fashioned man. People respect me. 2. Marry an old-fashioned woman. BTW my wife has a master's degree and had a successful career before we started a family. 3.Raise your children the old-fashioned way. So far so good with my progeny.

LOL! 1, 2 and 3 checked off and I still live with this abusive narcissist. Nice try, Maven.

Men! Don’t marry or cohabitate and you’ll never have to play Maven Roulette with a legal system that is just aching to screw you.

You’re welcome.
37 weeks ago
37 weeks ago Link To Comment
This is completely false. There have only been plenty of me outrages at any violence agaisnt women. I recal reading that in the past, some states (or colonies) actually had corporal punishment for wife-beaters.

On the other hand, there is little sympathy for male victims. The shelters need to jumped on, legally. (Although there is something to be said for male-only and female-only shelters.)
38 weeks ago
38 weeks ago Link To Comment
Sorry. Should read - There have always been plentry of men outraged at any violence agaisnt women.
38 weeks ago
38 weeks ago Link To Comment
I've never hit a woman. That said, there are plenty of them who richly deserve to be hit. I'm just not going to do it.
38 weeks ago
38 weeks ago Link To Comment
The keys here are: 1. Be and old-fashioned man. People respect me. 2. Marry an old-fashioned woman. BTW my wife has a master's degree and had a successful career before we started a family. 3.Raise your children the old-fashioned way. So far so good with my progeny.
38 weeks ago
38 weeks ago Link To Comment
The truly "old-fashioned woman" uses a rolling pin. And does not marry if she has a master's degree.
38 weeks ago
38 weeks ago Link To Comment
With the advent of same sex marriage...
I've yet to come across a case of same sex abuse. Sure it is out there, but I am extremely curious about the phenomena, particularly how it is dealt with in the 'culture'.

I'd imagine that it is uniquely taboo among lesbian couples, and yet, it occurs.
38 weeks ago
38 weeks ago Link To Comment
Not really. Verbal, physical and psychological abuse happens in LBGT couples with pretty much the same frequency as heterosexuals.

http://www.americanprogress.org/issues/lgbt/news/2011/06/14/9850/domestic-violence-in-the-lgbt-community/

I'm sure that there's some more confusion on who to drag off to jail for the federal VAWA money, tho.


38 weeks ago
38 weeks ago Link To Comment
38 weeks ago
38 weeks ago Link To Comment
In the first 6-1/2 years of my marriage, my ex-wife hit me, yelled at me, and threw stuff at me countless times. I was raised to never hit a woman. But finally, I had enough and hit her back one time. I pulled my punch because I was still afraid to hurt her, yet she still flew across the bedroom. She never hit me again after that.

The problem for men is the same problem I had. My exwife would have a difficult time physically hurting me without using some sort of weapon. But I had the physical power to hurt her at any moment. In nearly all cases, that same dichotomy holds true. And that is why men are held more accountable for physical violence.

On the other hand, women are supremely talented at slicing and dicing a man's emotions with their tongue. In times past, older women taught younger women to restrain themselves from doing this in the same manner that boys are taught by their fathers not to hit girls. The most recent public example of this type of training from mothers is when it came out that Gwyneth Paltrow was taught by her mother (who had a successful marriage) not to act on her impulse to teat into her husband, but instead do the opposite of what she felt like doing.

But with the advent of modern feminism, women were told they no longer should feel the need to restrain themselves. I am not in favor of teaching young boys that they should treat girls as they would treat other boys because the physical mismatch when they reach adulthood would result in terrible violence against women. But women ought to be teaching young girls to similarly restrain themselves, and to treat boys with the corresponding amount of respect.
38 weeks ago
38 weeks ago Link To Comment
Likely, unless men being victims of domestic violence starts to impact women, we won't hear too much about it. It upsets the massive industry to transfer money to bureaucrats for the purported benefit of womyn and chidrenz.
38 weeks ago
38 weeks ago Link To Comment
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