If I were a writer of crime and suspense novels — oh, wait, I am a writer of crime and suspense novels — the machinations behind the burgeoning sex scandal centering on former CIA Director David Petraeus would go something like this.
A smooth-but-shifty White House operative takes Petraeus for an unbuggable walk-and-talk in the shadow of the Washington Monument. Speaking in the smarmily evasive language of all fictional blackmailers, the operative says something like this, “You’re scheduled to testify before Congress about this unfortunate little affair at the Benghazi consulate a few days ago. The official line is that it was due to a spontaneous riot sparked by an irresponsible video. I believe you’ll want to support that line about the affair before Congress lest the administration be forced to reveal your affair and congress with Ms. Vagina Goodhead or Paula Broadwell or whatever her absurdly salacious name is.”
Long story short, Petraeus knuckles under to preserve his career, testifies dishonestly before congress — then, when the election is over, the Chicago thugs in the White House double-cross him and reveal the affair anyway because they know if Petraeus admits the blackmail and recants his testimony he’ll do time for perjury.
Of course, the problem with this story is that it’s too unbelievable that such a conspiracy could be kept quiet with America’s news media on the case, hunting down the truth with all the resources at its disposal… oh, wait.
And if you like this exciting story, please take a look at my new novel If We Survive: it’s about unlucky Americans who get caught behind the lines of a Communist revolution. Yeah, it’s an allegory about the election.