I Predicted Europe's Future — and Now I'm Depressed

Back in 2004, eleven long years ago, I made a satirical map of what Europe might look like in 2015, and posted the map on my site zombietime, along with a short satirical “news” article about how the EU was planning to intentionally hand the continent over to Muslim immigrants.

I had completely forgotten about this post (created on a whim one afternoon and uploaded as a joke), and in fact never even linked to it from my own home page, so that it became “orphaned” (unfindable by search engines) and lost to history.

The recent immigrant crisis in Europe jogged my memory and I suddenly had a vague recollection of my long-lost satirical article. After some searching I finally found the original, and was stunned at how eerily prescient it was.

Here’s the post as it still exists at zombietime; I repost it here in its entirety, for posterity:

The leaders of the European Union have agreed on a “road map” for the future. Sources close to the negotiations released the map to the media, showing how the EU’s leaders expect Europe to look in 2015, at the end of a ten-year plan they hope to adopt next year:

(And if you want proof that this was actually created in 2004: the URL was linked to in a still-online comment to this blog thread dated October 29, 2004.)

Looking at it now for the first time in 11 years, I am disturbed at how I somehow managed to predict (albeit even as a joke) what would happen to Europe in 2015.

Of course I got many details wrong: I didn’t foresee that each nation would no longer merely import their own pet Muslims (Turks to Germany, Pakistanis to Britain, Algerians to France, etc.), but that it would turn into a pan-Islamic colonization of the whole continent en masse. Also, having started assigning humorous new names to the nations in central Europe, I ran out of ideas after a few minutes and just abandoned the theme halfway through, leaving most of Eastern Europe and Scandinavia with their original names. But interestingly, I did predict that it would be the Hungarians and the Swiss who, among all central European nations, would most actively resist the immigration — exactly as is playing out today. How could I have known that?

What was a joke in 2004 is a brutal reality in 2015, and even the progressive elites who encouraged this continental suicide now concede that the immigration crisis is only going to get worse, with no end in sight, as seemingly half the population of the Middle East is now in the process of relocating to a new homeland in Europe.

I could have saved myself a lot of energy and dispensed with the individual nation names altogether and just written “The Middle Northeast” across the whole continent, or perhaps “The Caliphate of Europe.”

So, yeah, I unwittingly predicted the future — but I wish I hadn’t.