Dear Gavin: Oh Dear Lord PLEASE Run for President

Dear Gov. Gavin Newsom,

I'm begging you with tears in my eyes to please, please, PLEASE run for president, as you said on CBS Sunday Morning that you're giving "serious thought" to doing in 2028.

I'm not saying this only as a conservative columnist who gets his greatest job satisfaction out of poking fun at clueless lefties. Although I'd be lying otherwise if I told you that wasn't my primary reason. A man's got to earn his keep, after all.

Well, unless they happen to be a governor with business and "charitable" interests which just happen to mesh with his state's $300 billion budget. Speaking of which, how's that Pacific Palisades land-grab workin' out for ya?

Anyway, I couldn't help but notice that on the same day you were giving a wink and a nudge to CBS News about your presidential ambitions, the New York Times ran a hit piece on how a bill you signed into law totally enabled child sex trafficking in California. The new law, "known as SB 357, was intended to prevent profiling of Black, brown and trans women based on how they dressed," the paper reported.

What actually happened was that "uniformed officers could no longer apprehend groups of girls in lingerie on Figueroa [Street in Los Angeles], hoping to recover minors among them."

"Now officers needed to be willing to swear they had reason to suspect each girl was underage — but with fake eyelashes and wigs, it was nearly impossible to tell. One girl told vice officers that her trafficker had explained things succinctly: 'We run Figueroa now.'"

In the New York Times — and outside the paywall, no less, where everyone can read it. You know what the difference is between the San Francisco Chronicle — where they still love you, BTW — and the New York Times?

People read the NYT, Gav.

It's almost as if the MSM's Queen Mean Girl is trying to tell you something.

Just wait until the NYT decides to really let you have it on homelessness, drugs, and all the rest — so they can clear the way for their home girl, AOC.

And the thing is, Gavin, it probably doesn't matter much whether you flame out in the primaries — a distinct possibility, as a white male with no known handicaps aside from a stunted moral sense — or in the general election.

Because I'm pretty sure that you will flame out, and spectacularly.

Here's the thing you don't and maybe can't understand: Just because you've risen to the top of California politics doesn't mean you're ready for the national stage.

California is a bubble. You are the boy who lived inside it for 58 years. National politics is a leaky Wuhan lab.

Get the picture?

If not, take a close look at your frenemy, Kamala Harris. She followed much the same career path you did. She started in the Bay Area and then clawed her way to the top of California politics — first as attorney general, then as a senator.

The moment Harris set foot on the national stage... well, you don't need me to tell you that her presidential primary run ended before the primaries started — courtesy of a mercy killing by Tulsi Gabbard, who now serves in the Trump administration (if barely). You also don't need me to tell you that the only reason Harris ended up as vice president was that Joe Biden talked himself into naming a black woman (if barely) as his veep, and Stacey Abrams was too busy cosplaying as Georgia governor.

That's you, too, Gavin. But I don't expect you to believe me any more than I could dissuade Harris from making another run at it in 2028, too. Good thing I still have my lockdown stash of popcorn, because I can't wait to watch you two California bubble kids murdering one another for a chance at AOC's veep pick.

So not that I have to, but I'm begging you to run.

-Your Friendly Neighborhood VodkaPundit

P.S. I loved the part on CBS Sunday Morning when you said, "I’d be lying otherwise." That's just the kind of mock-honesty we've come to expect from you — and is just the kind of mock-smooth that makes you think you stand a chance.

Editor’s Note: The Schumer Shutdown is still ongoing, and polls are now showing Americans are increasingly blaming the Democrats for this mess, but we can’t let them spin their way out of it.

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