Donald Trump slayed them at the 79th annual Al Smith Dinner at New York City's Waldorf-Astoria Hotel, while no-show Kamala Harris's lame video "appearance" earned jeers. But it's Team Harris's "rapid response" reaction that will really have them rolling in the aisles.
Before I get to that, let's start with the elephant in the room addressing the donkey who wasn't there.
Trump at the Al Smith Dinner: “All polls are indicating I’m leading big with the Catholic vote — as I should be — but I don’t think Kamala has given up yet. Instead of attending tonight, she’s in Michigan receiving Communion from Gretchen Whitmer.”pic.twitter.com/HHdN8RkIaj
— Jerry Dunleavy IV 🇺🇸 (@JerryDunleavy) October 18, 2024
On the right side of your screen, Cardinal Timothy Dolan can be seen losing it while Sen. Chuck Schumer (D-N.Y.) looks about as comfortable as a... well, you know.
If you were hoping Trump would deliver a White Dudes for Harris joke, you won't be disappointed.
Trump calls out “White Dudes for Harris” as the cucks that they are! LMFAOOO💀💀💀💀 pic.twitter.com/rfkKROfAGU
— David Santa Carla 🦇 (@TheOnlyDSC) October 18, 2024
That's gonna leave a mark — but not as big a mark as this next zinger.
TRUMP JUST CALLED TIM WALZ A BITCH! CALL 911 NOW! I’M FUGGIN’ DYING!!!💀💀💀💀 pic.twitter.com/dCHuWP8tEq
— David Santa Carla 🦇 (@TheOnlyDSC) October 18, 2024
I am literally figuratively dying here, and the column will pause for a moment while you pick your jaw up off the floor.
Trump even got in a joke about second gentleman Doug Emhoff's nanny issues.
I get that some folks, even Trump supporters, believe jokes like these aren't exactly presidential, and, yeah, it's hard to imagine Ronald Reagan delivering any of them. And Reagan was the master of slipping in the shiv with a smile and a chuckle.
But 2024 isn't 1984. Things have changed.
What hasn't changed, however, is Democrats' craven willingness to demand to know, "Who you gonna believe — me or your lyin' eyes?"
Here's the official response from Harris-Walz 2024 Rapid Response Director Ammar Moussa:
Donald Trump struggled to read scripted notes written by his handlers, repeatedly complaining that he couldn't use a teleprompter. He stumbled over his words and lashed out when the crowd wouldn't laugh with him. The rare moments he was off script, he went on long incomprehensible rambles, reminding Americans how unstable he's become. And of course he made it all about himself. He may refuse to release his medical records, but every day he makes it clear to the American people that he is not up to the job.
I swear I am not making this up.
The phrase you're looking for is, "We have the receipts." Or perhaps it's "AYFKM?"
To keep things fair, here are all four minutes of Harris's cringeworthy video performance. She relied on SNL alum Molly Shannon for the laughs — and Shannon failed to deliver.
NEW: Kamala Harris releases her pre-recorded video for the Al Smith dinner in New York that she didn't show up for.
— Collin Rugg (@CollinRugg) October 18, 2024
Comedian Jim Gaffigan made fun of the Vice President after the crowd gave a dismal applause once it ended.
Cringe. pic.twitter.com/9dvsYQub9h
Maybe (just maybe) Shannon's Mary Katherine Gallagher character isn't quite as fresh as she was when she debuted in 1995.
I'm not sure why Harris chose to skip out on the Al Smith Dinner or why anyone thought a 60-year-old comedienne playing a 16-year-old schoolgirl skit from 30 years ago would generate any laughs, but I am sure that Harris's rapid reaction director needs to get a fresh set of lies.
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