In its seemingly never-ending quest to discredit itself, science now says you should microwave your steak — or at least one scientist does, with a big assist from the clickbait maestros at the New York Post. Or as my colleague Matt Margolis said to me about this story, "I just threw up in my mouth a little."
You and me both, Matt, but there's more on today's menu than just pointing and laughing at someone from the same crowd who told us we could protect ourselves from a virus by strapping flimsy bits of cotton loosely across our mouths.
There's more, so please join me because on this Thanksgiving we need to talk a little turkey about steak.
George Vekinis, appearing on a BBC podcast called “Instant Genius,” instantly reduced listeners to babbling morons with this advice, helpfully reported by the Post:
“It’s always a good idea to heat the meat first in a microwave,” explained physicist George Vekinis on BBC podcast “Instant Genius.”
“When you cook it directly from the fridge, essentially what you’re doing is not heating up the meat from the inside,” said the researcher, who authored October 2023 tome “Physics in the Kitchen."
Of all the books I won't have time to read in 2024, "Physics in the Kitchen" is at least six of them.
First of all, nobody worth their salt — something Vekinis fails on, too, but I'll get to that in a sec — cooks their steak directly from the fridge. Virtually every recipe I've ever read or seen on TV includes an instruction to let your meat come to room temperature before grilling, searing, frying, etc.
“Put it in the microwave for one or two minutes," says the so-called scientist, depending "on the thickness of the meat."
No, no, no.
The microwave is a blunt instrument unsuited for warming up anything you wouldn't want overcooked — like a thick, juicy ribeye. Just set it out on the counter for 20 or 30 minutes instead, OK? Please, I'm begging you.
If you want to do a reverse sear — that's where you bring the beef up to the desired temperature before searing it on high heat — then use the proper equipment. Reverse searing requires the gentle heat of your oven or a sous vide. I love my sous vide because it's literally impossible to overcook your steak, something that can happen in the oven if you lose track of time. It can happen in the microwave in seconds.
Here's a ribeye done the VodkaPundit Way, no microwaved needed or wanted.
I generously seasoned the steak with salt and pepper at least an hour before cooking, brought it up to 120° in the sous vide, and then cooked it over outrageously hot charcoal, very close to the flame, for one minute on each side.
Now here's the part where my shock at Vekinis's terrible advice turned to anger.
"Salt must never be put on a steak before frying," the man of unscience told his listeners after apparently suffering a sharp blow to the brain. "Salt has this osmotic ability to drag out as much water as possible from the meat and you’re going to get tough and inedible."
The place where Vekinis's frontal lobe used to be has been filled in with four ounces of Steak'umm long past its best-buy date.
Chef Andrew Gruel explained that thanks to "the same osmotic effect, [the water] then goes back into the meat" during cooking. Salt also makes your steak taste steakier and helps to form the delicious crust that starts your mouth watering just looking at it.
If you need to heat up a can of soup or one of those Stouffer's lasagnas, go ahead and use the microwave. It's also great for al dente vegetables, but Vekinis couldn't be more wrong about beef. So no steak, please — he's British.
Recommended: New Yorkers Say 'Fuggidaboudit' to More Illegal Aliens.
Join the conversation as a VIP Member