News You Can Use

He went there.

About the nicest thing you can say about this story is that Florida Man wasn’t involved:

Anyway, Cincinnati’s Colin Murphy was charged with public indecency and disorderly conduct after going number two on checkout lane number one:

Really:

A Cincinnati man was jailed after he allegedly stripped naked in front of an employee at the Kroger store in Hyde Park and defecated on a U-Scan machine.

Please tell me you know you’re not supposed to do that.