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Meanwhile, in St. Louis:

A Missouri woman was so desperate to avoid a shoplifting arrest she bit a security guard’s nipple.

In addition to the nipple biting, Tiffany Yount is accused of grabbing the crotch of the guard who stopped her from taking a watch from the South County Center’s J.C. Penney in St. Louis County.

The 31-year-old was charged with felony second-degree robbery, the St. Louis Post-Dispatch reported.

The Class B felony is punishable by a minimum of five years in prison and a maximum of 15 years.

The suspect had previously been arrested for unlawful use of drug paraphernalia, driving on a revoked or suspended license and theft.

You know you’re not supposed to do any of that, right?