Our Long National Nightmare Begins

So… have any sequester horror stories to share?

I was awoken this morning to the sound of an un-air-traffic-controlled passenger jet making a forced emergency landing on the interstate just west of here. That was nothing of course to the sound (and sight) of Cheyenne Mountain collapsing in on itself as NORAD HQ inside collapsed from lack of maintenance. Fortunately, no military personnel or contractors were there, as they’d all been laid off, immediately after they’d left the facility to scrounge for sustenance out of the cold, hard Colorado soil.

I’m not expecting the mail to be delivered today. Not to the right address, anyway. But that’s a regular occurrence here at Casa Verde. Our little cul de sac was renamed from “Court” to “Massive Giant Pothole,” only there was nobody to repaint the street sign. Melissa tells me she’s afraid to try leaving the house because it looks for sure like her tire pressure might be suboptimal.

The children are cold and hungry because the food in the refrigerator has become unsafe, and their pajamas are no longer fire retardant.

We’ll keep you posted with new developments as the sequester takes our nation — and our home! — fully by the throat.