Early Handicapping

In the 2008 Presidential race, the nice guy will finish first.

Let’s take a quick & dirty & oh-so-glib look at every election since 1980 to see what I mean.


1980: Sunny Reagan vs. Prim Carter
1984: Quipping Reagan vs. Tax-Monger Mondale
1988: Happy (if clueless) Bush vs. Eat-your-peas Dukakis
1992: Good Ole’ Boy Clinton vs. Clueless (yet even more clueless) Bush
1996: Blow Job Billy vs. Cranky Dole
2000: Frat Boy Bush vs. Angry Martian Gore
2004: “Wanna buy some wood?” Bush vs. Corpse Kerry

1976 was an anomaly, since Gerald Ford got into the White House quite by accident. Even so, his loss to Carter was surprisingly slim. Going back to 1972 is pointless for two reasons. First off, 35 years ago in an eternity in Washington Time. Secondly, it would ruin my point. Seriously though, given all the rancor we’ve witnessed since 2000, I fully expect the Nice Guy to win in 2008.

Somebody on Team Gore had better slip their man some Percocet already.


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