Things To Do In Orlando When You're Stuck

The Top 10 Things To Do In The Orlando Airport When Your Flight Home Is Delayed:

10. Mercilessly mock every touron wearing tacky Disney attire (warning: target-rich environment; you will exhaust yourself in fairly short order).
9. Mooch off of the in-airport Hyatt’s free Wi-Fi to make snarky blog posts.
8. Read Lileks.
7. Curse Delta Airlines.
6. Laugh at pretentious failed college football coaches with martyr complexes who now work for ESPN because nobody else will hire them.
5. Beyotch about the lousy cell phone coverage.
4. Lust after the dozens of friggin’ huge plasma displays that are an outrageous waste of money in an airport, but which would look great in my living room.
3. Listen to the Hugh Hewit show that you ripped onto your iPod with Audio Hijack last night.
2. Wonder how much damage your 12-year-old lab and two-year-old nephew have done to your house in the last 24 hours.

… and the Number One Thing To Do In The Orlando Airport When Your Flight Home Is Delayed:

1. Hold a Black Mass in the airport atrium to inflict a horde of flesh-eating locusts upon Delta Airlines and all its works.

UPDATE: The “1:17PM” flight, which was first moved to 2:30, and then 3:15, is now the 3:45, and the 2:05 flight is so overbooked, the gate agent admits, “You’ll never get on that one.”

Heck, why should I have all the fun? You can track my misadventures yourself right here!

Anybody got a first-edition of the Necronomicon handy? I need something particularly eldritch, hideous and nameless here.