North Korean Army Marches South...

…Seeking 7-11 that Takes Checks or at Least Some Wild Berries

The North Korean government condemned what it called the “moral leprosy” of US President George W. Bush and said the communist state was powerfully equipped for any conflict. The North Korean arsenal includes over 2,500 Soviet- and Chinese-built tanks, and nearly enough fuel to fill up the Jeep.

Speaking from atop a pile of corpses of low-level aides who had recently died of starvation, a Pyongyang foreign ministry spokesman said: “We are sharply watching the disturbing moves of the United States that has pushed the situation to the brink of war.” A war, he went on to say, “that we are bound to lose in an embarassingly spectacular fasion.”

Glancing up from his prepared note, the spokesman asked, “running dog-capitalist pig-tool reporter, are you going to finish that sandwich?”