The PJ Tatler

[Audio] Re-Writing News of the Past: What If the 9/11 Attacks Never Happened?

The other day, it occurred to me that most of my children have no memory of a pre-9/11 world. This is my attempt to imagine a “no 9/11 world.” (Click the play button below to listen.)

https://soundcloud.com/scott-ott/what-if-imagine-no-911-attacks

Transcript of the audio above…

[October 2000] We are getting word just now that Osama Bin Laden, the Muslim terrorist leader who declared war on the United States two years ago, has been killed by U.S. Special Forces in Afghanistan. President Bill Clinton reportedly gave the order to take out bin Laden after viewing a live CIA video feed from a Predator drone. While some of his friends on the Left had urged Clinton’s Justice Department to indict bin Laden, and bring him to trial, the president said today, “This evil man declared war on us, had a track record of slaughter, billions of dollars in funding and a global network of slavishly-devoted suicidal soldiers. You don’t send lawyers after a man like that — you send Seals, Marines and Green Berets.”

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[October 1991]  Immigration and Customs Enforcement today announced it had permanently deported Sheik Omar Abdel Rahman, and a number of his associates. Rahman, a radical Islamist preacher who used three New York City mosques as a base to raise money, and to distribute recordings, has called on Muslims to rise up and slaughter the infidel. President Bush said today, “I personally requested the deportation of the blind sheik, in shackles, handcuffed if necessary, to his ACLU lawyer.”

[May 1991] President George H.W. Bush, in a triumphant speech from downtown Baghdad, Iraq, today announced the unconditional surrender of Saddam Hussein’s government and his Baathist Army. The president said that nothing short of total surrender can save Iraq. Bush added that the coalition that conquered Saddam, would stay on the job until Iraqis build a constitutional republic, under the rule of law.
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Good evening, it’s April 4, 2013, and today New York City threw a massive party to mark the 40th anniversary of the ribbon-cutting of the twin towers of the World Trade Center. The day started with the mayor and the Radio City Music Hall Rockettes performing a rousing version of “Happy Birthday” on the roof of Tower One. The festivities wound up with a ticker-tape parade down Liberty Street past the skyscrapers, as New Yorkers cheered their police, firefighters and emergency responders.
[April 15, 2013] The one hundred seventeenth running of the Boston Marathon went off without a hitch today…