The PJ Tatler

'Has Putin Seen this Photo of John Kerry Yet?'

John Kerry reporting for duty. John Kerry windsurfing. John Kerry riding a pink girl’s bicycle?


The photo was snapped by a Nantucket local and published in the Boston Herald. Howie Carr supplies the snark:

Has Vladimir Putin seen this photo of John Kerry yet? Has Benjamin Netanyahu?

When they do, I think one of them will be laughing and the other — well, no, even Bibi will be cracking up when he sees Hamas’ best buddy wobbling on a bicycle on Nantucket last weekend.

A girl’s bike.

A girl’s pink bike.

As usual with these annual summer photos on Nantucket, Kerry looks surprised that someone just walking along happens to have a cellphone camera. It’s happened to Liveshot how many times now, just on Nantucket, and he’s still astounded that it’s happened again.

Apparently, he still believes it’s 1984, and the only photographers are from the Globe, and if they take another embarrassing shot, he can just call Mr. Winship or Mrs. Winship and get it killed.

Now, embarrassing photos go around the world when the Globe is Photoshopping tomorrow’s halo above Liveshot’s exquisitely coiffed mane.

Behind him, you can see his new white dog — could his name be Surrender? I don’t see a baggie in Mr. Secretary’s hand, nor do I see Glenn Johnson trailing behind him. That’s a job his aide Johnson is well-suited for — following behind, cleaning up messes left by a clueless Democrat and his pup. After all, Glenn was Kerry’s head cheerleader at the Globe.

I just got back from Dallas, where I went to the museums for George W. Bush and JFK. They have some amazing photos at both locations, but after seeing this last photo of the secretary of state, I have an idea for where John Kerry’s “mu­seum” should go.

On Nantucket, where his greatest photos have been taken.

Last year, it was the Herald’s photo of him climbing onto his $7.5-million yacht, the Isabella, the one he tried to avoid paying taxes on, as Egypt was convulsed in revolution.

Then there was the late-night photo of him with some female teenyboppers, one of them sipping a cold one out of a red Solo cup with a penis straw.

And speaking of Nan­tucket, don’t forget the famous video from the 2004 election, of Kerry wind­surfing — a man of the people, all right, as long as the people are gigolos.

Meanwhile, Vladimir Putin has been seen tramping through the brush, bare chested, with a hunting rifle, as you’ll see in the photo on the next page.


Now, Putin is a creepy guy, but no one would ever question his manhood. Kerry is also creepy. But where you can almost admire Putin’s masculine joie de vivre, you sometimes wonder if Kerry is on a testosterone-replacement regimen.

No one respects him. No one listens to him. No one is afraid of him or the U.S. He is the least credible secretary of state implementing the least credible foreign policy in our history.

So, go ahead. Ride, Johnny, ride. And keep going until you’re completely out of the picture.