The PJ Tatler

Go Home, United Nations, You're Drunk

Detroit has a water crisis.

Actually, no, it doesn’t. Detroit has a deadbeat crisis.

The broke down Motor City has announced that it is suspending shutting off water to those who don’t pay their water bills, for 15 days. Just about half of the city’s residents are actually paying their water bills.

Detroit, which by the way is bankrupt, made that decision because the United Nations pressured it to.

How did Detroit get to be bankrupt? Well, it has a deadbeat problem. And a corruption problem.

The United Nations claims that access to clean water is now a “human right.” And because of that, the city should not cut off the water to people who are using the city’s water service, but are refusing to pay for it.

Most of the same people who are refusing to pay for the water they use are on taxpayer-supported public assistance. Public assistance is meant to help them pay for food, shelter, and of course, water.

But instead, many of them are paying for cell phones and satellite or cable TV service.

They are making choices in what they pay for. If they prize other things over clean water, well, there ought to be consequences for that. The United Nations, which itself lives off of the public assistance of member states including the United States, disagrees.

Potable water doesn’t clean itself and, for the most part, doesn’t exist in nature in the quantities that we need to support our cities. Humans have to process water to make it drinkable. That processing costs money. Somebody has to pay for it. If that somebody is not the people who are actually using the water, then who ought to pay for it?

The United Nations has taken the position that it doesn’t care, and it doesn’t matter, who pays for water.

They’re not going far enough.

Food is just as important to our health as water. If clean water is a human right, why isn’t food? And if food is a human right, why should anyone ever have to pay for food?

Why shouldn’t farmers just give away all of the crops, beef, milk, and other products that they generate? Why shouldn’t all restaurants serve everyone whatever food they want, free of charge? Aren’t they violating our human rights if they force us to pay for the food that we eat? Steak and lobster for everyone, every day, whenever they want — since it’s a human right. Why shouldn’t the United Nations make this happen?

Then no one would have to choose between food and their smartphone.

Because having to make choices isn’t fair. Or something.