The PJ Tatler

10 Things That You Can't and Shouldn't Comment On

So the argument goes: birth control is a women’s issue. It’s a woman’s body, a woman’s right to choose, a woman’s health concerns. The Jezebel bloggers even go so far as to point out that the recent Hobby Lobby decision was cast by all men, and that all the female Supremes dissented.

Men are asked not to have an opinion because, after all, this issue is only for women.

These men are Supreme Court justices! They have a right to comment on anything pertaining to the Constitution; they have an obligation to hear cases and to rule according to our nation’s principles. It is absurd to assume that only women’s votes should have counted on this matter.

I’m going to exercise my passive-aggressive sarcasm muscle for a moment. So here’s a list of other things people shouldn’t comment on, because they are not part of the group it affects:

1)     Anyone not currently in school should not be commenting on education standards. So much for the PTA., so much for teacher meetings, and who cares what the Department of Education thinks. Really, parents: please stop asking your kids if they’ve completed their homework.

2)     If you do not live in the Antarctic region, please stop commenting on the trouble penguins are experiencing during climate change. In fact, maybe people shouldn’t be commenting on penguins’ hardships at all—leave that to the birds.

3)     White people should not teach black history. They should not listen to jazz, hip-hop, or rock-n-roll. They’re prohibited from eating soul food.

4)     Bald people should not judge others based on their hairstyle.  In fact, preferably, they should not even be allowed into the shampoo aisle at the store.

5)     People who don’t make movies, who don’t direct, act, write, or produce, should refrain from making judgments as to the quality of movies. You should be expected to pay for the newest Michael Bay flick, without rating it. Enjoy all content equally.

6)     Unless you eat at McDonald’s regularly (or are a fry-cook), please stop commenting on the minimum wage debate.

7)     Attention all non-Vogue editors, non-fashionistas, and people who don’t work for Ralph Lauren—you can no longer dress yourselves. You know you’ll mangle fashion, so you can only get dressed by a trained expert from now on.

8)     Pedestrians should not concern themselves with drunk drivers. It is after all their cars, so it is their choice what to consume while in their vehicle. As someone not in their particular automobile, let alone someone who doesn’t even own a car, you should not judge them.

9)     Non-murderers: please stop weighing in on the celebrity trials. You can’t judge O.J. Simpson, Jodi Arias, or Oscar Pistorius, until you’ve walked a mile in their shoes. In fact, maybe we shouldn’t have non-killers on juries at all.

10)    And non-accountants should not care about their finances. Spend what you think you have, and don’t bother to keep a ledger. Credit card companies won’t care if you can’t pay, right?!?

Look, I’m not anti-contraception or birth control. I do think this case was decided correctly, as per the Constitution. That doesn’t mean that I don’t wish more people had access to birth control, let alone condoms.

But, I dislike it when people use the argument that this issue belongs to women alone. People form opinions and judge things that don’t directly pertain to them all the time. Let alone, we have a system that requires this. All Constitutional issues are everybody’s issues.