The PJ Tatler

Kabuki Theatre Presents: Fast & Furious, Part Whatever

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June 11: Experiencing repeated evasion over requests for Fast & Furious documents, the House Oversight and Government Reform Committee, chaired by Darrell Issa, scheduled a vote on June 20 on whether to hold Attorney General Eric Holder in contempt.

At first, Holder’s Department of Justice stood firm against this action, claiming Holder has “testified before the committee at least eight times about Fast and Furious.” (And what of substance did he say?)

June 13: Holder pleas before a Senate committee that he must protect DOJ’s “internal discussions,” but offers to discuss with Issa how to “alter its refusal to produce critical documents subpoenaed by the committee.”

June 14: “Attorney General Eric Holder on Thursday agreed to make what he called ‘an extraordinary accommodation’ to Republicans investigating the botched ‘Operation Fast and Furious’ by turning over department emails he has long insisted deal with internal deliberations and should be protected.”

But Holder maintains some of the requested documents are “outside the scope of the committee’s interest in the inappropriate tactics used in Fast and Furious.” So it’s partial compliance. Ball back in Issa’s court.

Let’s hope the documents are more forthcoming than those previously “turned over.”

It couldn’t be better scripted by Tetsuji Takechi.

Issa enters wearing Inquisitor makeup and draws his sword of Writ.

Holder enters with Thundercloud Over the Mountains makeup and draws his sword of Noh.

After a wardrobe/makeup change, Holder returns to declaim while holding an olive branch in his right hand, wearing a Remorseful But Resolute Victim face. Left hand on his sword, Holder offers to display the Hidden Chest of Secrets.

Wearing the face of Mollified But Still Adamant, Issa offers to sheath his sword…for now.

So what exactly has happened with all the Sound and Fury of the F&F hearings? You might respond: “Nothing!” At first, that seems to be the correct answer.

But let’s take a broader look at our Kabuki Government, because much has happened. The nature of our Kabuki is to entertain and distract attention from the real problem, all while convincing us something is being done.

There’s meeting rooms and catering, cameras, and utilities. An army of clerks, scribes and gophers run around keeping track of it all. A galaxy of electrons get disturbed with all the communications and computer technology dedicated to supporting this effort.

And it’s all paid for by your tax dollars. But you should feel good, knowing that you’ve contributed to the vast social justice program of paying for exorbitant salaries, Cadillac private health care, and lifetime retirement benefits for those incapable of holding down a productive job.