The PJ Tatler

Muslim Cleric Warns: Cucumbers Are Just Too Darn Sexy for Women

Be warned, ladies. Some shrewd Muslim cleric knows what you’re really thinking about when you’re making that cucumber salad.

An Islamic cleric living in Europe reportedly has warned Muslim women not to get too close to bananas, cucumbers or other produce — to avoid having “sexual thoughts.”

The unnamed cleric, whose directive was featured in an article in el-Senousa, a religious publication, purportedly said that if women wanted to eat these foods, a third party — preferably a male related to them, such as their father or husband — should cut the items into small pieces before serving, the Egyptian website Bikya Masr reported.

Carrots and zucchini also were added to the alleged cleric’s list of forbidden foods for women.

The cleric must view VeggieTales as hard core pron.

Begging for a fatwa?