The PJ Tatler

Remember the scary game of 'chicken' played on the road to a government shutdown?

Fortunately, the country was spared the previously threatened government shutdown by the decisive actions of President Obama. However, another (shutdown, not Obama) remains possible and this time one of the targeted agencies is taking proactive measures to advise those dependent upon it of what might happen.

This morning, I received an e-mail from the Federal Aviation Administration (FAA) advising me as follows:

Status of FAASTeam Seminars and Events
Notice Number: NOTC2914
Due to the uncertainty surrounding funding for continued federal government operations, including FAA operations, the FAA Safety Team wants you to be aware of the following points.
·          If Congress does not provide continued funding for FAA operations, some seminars and events may need to be cancelled [sic].
·          Most seminars and events will be presented as scheduled. (emphasis in original)
. . . .
We appreciate your understanding of the difficulties we face at this time.

These crucial seminars deal with flight safety and, although I haven’t piloted an aircraft since about 1985 and Panamá far is too distant from the various stateside venues of these forums for me to attend, I receive information about them because I asked that the e-mails be sent. The seminar topics bring back pleasant memories of some of the stupid things I did back when I was flying. Sometimes, I even threw rolls of toilet paper from aircraft at five thousand feet and tried to cut the resulting streamers as often as I could before crashing. I don’t know if I can survive the trauma of not being able to read about those seminars, even for a week.

While gratifying to learn that most such seminars, my entitlements in the truest sense of the word, will continue to be presented during an horrific government-wide shutdown, the thought that some them may have to be postponed or even canceled shows the depths to which some anti-safety, anti-education and extremely callous fanatics have sunk into the clutches of the filthy rich. They are anxious to vent their rage on our hardworking but sadly mistreated civil servants – at the expense even of the innocent children thereby put at risk by unsafe pilots. Enfeebled government? These catastrophes would be among the many terrible results.

Don’t those pious protectors of their filthy wallets know that winning is not as important as it once seemed? Can’t they understand that real budget cuts are far more harmful than merely giving the appearance of real cuts to fool their constituents? They should listen to former Speaker Pelosi. They should also pay rapt attention to President Obama, who is about to reveal his well-balanced plan to get the country on track someday to smart deficit reduction. Have they no respect? What would his mother(s) think?

This message has been approved by the Demonic National Committee.