The PJ Tatler

Confirmed: Men who leer at women's chests are healthier (Updated: A Hoax)

Not that most of us males need any encouragement.

Guys, listen up. A study says it is actually healthy to stare at a woman’s breasts.

Five-hundred men participated in the German study. Half were told to refrain from looking at breasts for five years, the other half were told to ogle them daily.

The study found the men who stared at breasts more often showed lower rates of heart problems, a lower resting heart rate and lower blood pressure.

The authors of the study recommend that men stare at breasts for 10 minutes a day.

First of all, I would question the sanity of those men who refrained from ogling bodacious ta-ta’s for 5 years. Five years? Whatever possessed those men to deny themselves one of life’s simple, albeit naughty pleasures? The money must have been spectacular.

Then again, is there a man out there who actually believes they honestly followed the parameters of the study? The poor guys probably got elevated blood pressure and a higher heart rate worrying about breaking the rules. Everytime some well-formed female passed them on the street, the fight to control their natural urge to ogle no doubt almost gave them a heart attack.

Imagine the lascivious joy of the other group, however. They had permission to do something that most of us, if tried in broad daylight, would get us whopped upside the head by our wives. “Sorry honey, but in the name of science, sacrifices have to be made.” My Zsu-Zsu would not understand, nor would most women I imagine.

Don’t tell your wife, but you can lower your heart rate and blood pressure by walking 20 minutes a day. Not as fun, I’ll admit, as admiring nature’s handiwork on the female form, but at least you avoid the whop upside the head.

Hat Tip: Jeff Dunetz

UPDATE:

Well, egg on the face has its pluses; you don’t have to go far to find breakfast in the morning.

From Snopes:

Watching busty females may indeed be good for a man’s health and add years to his life (by giving him something to look forward to, if nothing else), but men who want to make the case for engaging in this behavior to their wives or girlfriends will have to do so without relying on the imprimatur of the medical community. The article referred to above was not printed in The New England Journal of Medicine or any other major medical journal. It is, in fact, a slight reworking of a piece that has run on at least two occasions in that celebrated tabloid Fountain of Truth, the Weekly World News (13 May 1997 and 21 March 2000) and has escaped into the wild. Although the Weekly World News occasionally slips up and prints a true story, we suspect this one belongs in the “HOW TO TELL IF YOUR DOG WORSHIPS SATAN!” and “NEW REMOTE-CONTROL DEVICE GIVES WOMEN ORGASMS — AT UP TO 80 YARDS AWAY!” class.

One more example of “If it’s too good to be true, it probably isn’t.”

Apologies for getting your hopes up, guys.