PR Jiu Jitsu: Agree to a Full, Independent Investigation of the Boat Strike

Quite literally, the Democrats see blood in the water. They’re convinced the Caribbean boat strike was an impeachable war crime. And come hell or high water, they’ll go down with the ship — clinging to every last scrap, shard, and mangled piece of evidence available, pursuing this “scandal” with the same rigorous, moral certitude as Russia-gate, Classified Document-gate, Trump-is-Putin’s-Puppet-gate, Election Interference-gate, Insurrection-gate, and all the rest.

You know it’s coming. I know it’s coming. It’s the most obvious “next step” for the Democrats, because it’s an irresistible one-two punch: Trump + the faintest whiff of scandal is like crack cocaine for the left. They go together like cat food and box wine in an unmarried woman’s shopping cart.

So, let’s have some fun with it!

Rush Limbaugh used to call it “illustrating absurdity by being absurd.” But it wasn’t just humor for its own sake: It was also a PR tactic.

Sometimes, humor is the best way to capture hearts and minds. A joke, jab, or one-liner that exposes absurdity, lampoons hypocrisy, and skewers sacred cows is more persuasive than a hundred thousand serious-minded policy papers.

When properly weaponized, humor can deflate, defang, and destroy someone’s reputation overnight.

Say whatever you want about Saul Alinksy, but the man understood PR tactics:

Ridicule is man’s most potent weapon. It is almost impossible to counteract ridicule. Also it infuriates the opposition, which then reacts to your advantage.
—Saul Alinsky

Let’s return to the Caribbean boat strike, where the Trump administration blasted a drug cartel’s boat out of the water — not once, but twice. The Democrats and the mainstream media insist it’s a war crime.

From PBS:

Leveling a second strike on the survivors of an initial attack on an alleged drug boat would have been a crime, legal experts say.
It doesn’t matter whether the U.S. is in “armed conflict” with drug cartels as the Trump administration asserts. Such a fatal attack would have violated peacetime laws and those governing armed conflict, the experts say.
“I can’t imagine anyone, no matter what the circumstance, believing it is appropriate to kill people who are clinging to a boat in the water,” said Michael Schmitt, a former Air Force lawyer and professor emeritus at the U.S. Naval War College. “That is clearly unlawful.”

Of course, the actual legality is far more complicated than Schmitt claimed. This aired last night on ABC News:

ABC’s Martha Raddatz on Wednesday’s ‘World News Tonight’ about drug boat-gate: “And tonight, new information: According to a source familiar with the incident, the two survivors climbed back on to the boat after the initial strike. They were believed to be potentially in… pic.twitter.com/R5eHFzzDql
— Curtis Houck (@CurtisHouck) December 4, 2025

And now, it’s time for the Trump administration to respond.

But how?

Very clearly, the mainstream media wants Pete Hegseth fired — and that’s only the appetizer. Should the Democrats win the House in 2026, this “war crime” will almost certainly become fodder for the umpteenth impeachment hearing.

We could stonewall any inquiries, drawing a line in the sand and asking the American people to choose sides. And perhaps that’s the smartest tactic, because the PR optics are stupidly one-sided: Trump is trying to prevent drugs from reaching American shores, whereas the Dems are dedicated to protecting the “rights” of drug-runners.

(Yeah. Good luck with that policy position in the midterms, guys.)

Just between 2022 and 2023, over 109,000 Americans died from drug overdoses. If that doesn’t qualify as a full-bore epidemic, nothing does.

But instead of stonewalling, let’s welcome a full, independent investigation… with one small condition.

Imagine if Karoline Leavitt approached the podium and said the following:

Since the mainstream media and the Democratic Party are so concerned about the “innocent victims” of U.S. missile strikes, we’d be absolutely DELIGHTED to launch a complete and thorough investigation.
After all, we’ve heard the impassioned pleas of the radical left: “Killing civilians who are not engaged in armed conflict against us is a war crime,” they insist.
And we wholeheartedly agree that there must be urgency: “Justice delayed is justice denied!”
Furthermore, all lives have value. We agree here, too.
Which is why we’ll work sequentially, reviewing and independently investigating every single incident where an American missile strike has killed innocent civilians…
…beginning with the 563 drone strikes under President Obama that killed approximately 3,797 people.
In fact, during President Obama’s very first missile strike on Yemen, 21 children were killed. Ten of those children were under the age of five. A dozen women — five of whom were pregnant — also died in the attack.
Afterwards, President Obama said, “Turns out I’m really good at killing people. Didn’t know that was gonna be a strong suit of mine.”
He certainly did it a lot: President Obama authorized TEN TIMES the missile strikes of his predecessor, President George W. Bush. And Obama was so cavalier about it, he even joked about attacking the Jonas Brothers:
President Obama threatens to drone strike the Jonas Brothers. (2010) pic.twitter.com/U8Y9uMNLVr
— crazy ass moments in american politics (@ampol_moment) May 2, 2022
We’re deeply touched by the media’s newfound sympathy for the “victims” of U.S. missile strikes. We’re thrilled the Democratic Party has FINALLY decided to give a damn about civilian deaths. And since all lives matter and “justice delayed is justice denied,” it’s only fair to begin with the poor, innocent victims who’ve waited the longest.
The federal investigation begins tomorrow. Thanks for bringing this to our attention!

It won’t happen, but it’d sure be fun to watch the media’s heads explode — and the Democrats ducking for cover.

One Last Thing: The Democrats are on the ropes, but make no mistake: The donkeys are still dangerous. We need your help to succeed!

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