About 40 years ago, a “scientific study” was conducted on unwitting subjects: An attractive woman approached college-aged men on campus: “Hey, baby! You’re kinda cute! This might sound a little forward, but my dorm is nearby. Would you like to have sex with me?”
About 75% of the men agreed. (Presumably, the other 25% figured their girlfriends were hiding around the corner and kept their mouths closed.)
Also in the study, they reversed the genders: A good-looking dude approached college-aged girls on campus, making the exact same sexual offer.
NONE of the women agreed!
Hmm.
According to other surveys, male homosexual relationships have the most sex. Next is hetero relationships. And last is lesbian relationships.
Now I’m no math major, but it sure seems like the equation goes like this: The more women you add to the relationship, the less sex you have. (Which means… those rich Arab sheiks with thousands and thousands of wives must be TERRIBLY lonely at night. Poor fellas!)
Men and women are fundamentally different. We think differently; we act differently; we have different goals, risks, fears, and romantic opportunities. We’re simply… different. Most people figure this out when they’re little kids: The girls play over here (often with dolls or playing house), and the boys play over there (with sticks and rocks, bashing each other’s heads).
Perhaps it was best explained in “Kindergarten Cop”:
But after kindergarten, when we’re indoctrinated by the public government school system, we’re “re-educated” and instructed to repeat the following: Men and women are perfectly identical; gender is purely a social construct; and all deviations in male/female outcomes are the byproduct of the evil, sinister, misogynist Patriarchy!
And for a while, a lot of us believe it. The whole thing kinda-sorta makes sense (at least when you’re still in school). But once you get out in the real world, you’re quickly disabused of your naivety.
Alas for liberal educators, you can’t brainwash people indefinitely. Eventually, the theories you teach in the classroom run headfirst into reality. It’s a big reason why young men have grown more conservative.
Because, let’s face it, being a young man in America is rough. Compared to women, you’re less likely to go to college and more likely to go to jail. You make less money, did worse in school, and have fewer opportunities than the average female.
Doesn’t bode well for mate selection.
Look, a 22-year-old man doesn’t have much to offer: He’s still emotionally stunted (and goofy-looking). He doesn’t have the specialized training and/or experience to help other men, and hasn’t developed the traits to be a good provider or romantic partner to women.
It’s a tough age.
By contrast, a 22-year-old female has exponentially more latitude. Because there’s a strong, undeniable social link between a woman’s youth and her desirability in the “sexual marketplace,” a 22-year-old woman can blaze her own trail: From the Heisman-winning quarterback in college to the middle-aged billionaire CEO on Wall Street, she has an abundance of options, romantic or otherwise.
The world is her oyster.
A hot young babe doesn’t wait with you LOSERS on the wrong side of the velvet ropes! She’s invited into the VIP section with open arms.
Interestingly, according to studies, a woman’s “desirability” peaks at 18, whereas a man has to wait until he’s 50. That’s a big bummer for younger guys, but works out pretty well when men reach their 30s and 40s.
Because, age 30 is when the average man has more dating options than the average woman.
According to Psychology Today:
On average, women were found to have a decline in attractiveness by 10.4 points per decade and a decline in femininity by 7.59 points per decade. The most precipitous drop was found over the age of 40 for women. Male attractiveness and masculinity were relatively preserved until age 50, when attractiveness scores started to decline.
Let’s put it a different way: “Apparently, according to men, a woman is at her peak Sexual Marketplace Value when she is 18-years-old, as determined not only by the amount of male attention, but by the quality of male attention that she receives. On the other hand, according to women, a man is at his peak Sexual Marketplace Value when he is 50-years-old… pretty incredible, huh?”
The same psychologist, Dr. Orion Taraban, elaborated further in a different interview:
It’s not coincidence that the average age at first marriage in [the United States] is 29. Remember, I just said that 30 is the day when — or the year when — the Sexual Marketplace polarity switches for the very first time and it never ever returns, so most marriages happen at the last moment that a woman enjoys a power differential over the man in the Sexual Marketplace. This is the smartest [expletive] thing she could possibly do, because if she were to wait another year or two, she might not have been able to get that same commitment, even from that same man, because she will have declined a little bit and he’ll be like, ‘Oh well, wait a minute. I’m starting to get some options here…’
We’re in a data-driven world, but some of the emerging language of self-declared “dating gurus” — phrases like “Sexual Marketplace,” “high value” mates, and “power differential” — have a vampiric quality, draining the lifeblood out of romance. Because, when we find true love, we don’t want it to be a numbers game. That’s gross.
You don’t want to trick someone into loving you!
But trickery has always been part of courtship. From Laban tricking Jacob into marrying both Leah and Rachel to our modern-day theatrics — makeup, elevator shoes, push-up bras, wigs, heels, stuffing, padding, pickup lines, Spanx, costume jewelry, and more — you can’t cleanly separate the product from the presentation.
Even dating profiles online, with all their Photoshopped images, AI writing, and “exaggerated” bios, are fully funded with Confederate money. But that’s how we play the modern dating game: First you reel in the fish. Maybe later, you reveal your claim of being “six feet tall” might’ve been a few inches off.
This is a photo of me on my wedding day. (Yes, I was sneaking a Bud Lite into the venue. Don’t judge me.) About two years after we got married, all my hair fell out, leaving me the gruesome, hideous monstrosity you see today.
Gotta say, I timed my marriage perfectly!
And I think that’s the key for everyone else: There’s no “right” or “wrong” time to get married. There’s only what’s right or wrong for you.
Besides, who wants to wait ‘til they’re 50?
The best time to get married is whenever you’re ready: You’ve found your ride-or-die and you’re not only willing to accept the burdens of a lifetime commitment; you’re actually excited by it! THRILLED by it!
Because, in your mind, they’re not burdens; they’re blessings.
When you know… you know.
