Last year, the Dallas Cowboys played the Philadelphia Eagles twice. Dallas scored a combined total of 13 points; Philly 75. Dallas lost both games.
Needing a new head coach, Cowboys owner Jerry Jones interviewed both teams’ offensive coordinators. The one in Philly is in his mid-30s, and is constantly fielding head coaching offers. (He’s currently preparing his game plan for the NFC Championship Game tomorrow.) The one in Dallas is in his 50s, has never been a head coach on any level, and hasn’t interviewed for a head coaching job in over a decade.
Naturally, Jerry Jones chose the one who scored 13 points.
The tenth — and newest — head coach in the history of the Dallas Cowboys is none other than… Brian Schottenheimer.
“Brian Schottenheimer is known as a career assistant,” Jones crowed last night, making the hiring official. “He ain’t Brian no more. He is now known as the head coach of the Dallas Cowboys.”
As with all things Dallas Cowboys, Jones’ quote made no sense: in the NFL, head coaches still retain their original first name. (It’s not like becoming the pope.) And second, the entire process that led to this point was an exercise in incompetence (bordering on senility).
Last year, Brian Schottenheimer was the Cowboys’ offensive coordinator. Mike McCarthy, who had previously won a Super Bowl (and 100+ games) with the Packers was the head coach. McCarthy had just put together three consecutive 12-win seasons, but hadn’t advanced far in the playoffs.
After the 2023 season ended with a crushing playoff loss to McCarthy’s old Green Bay team, Jerry Jones stood at the crossroads. The choice was entirely his.
In an alternate timeline, Jones acted boldly, firing McCarthy after the Green Bay loss, and hiring one of the excellent coaches that were then available: Sean Payton, Jim Harbough, or Dan Quinn. Jones could’ve said, “We’re going all in!” and signed a slew of free agents — such as running back Derrick Henry (who openly campaigned to be a Cowboy) — giving a great head coach a chance to FINALLY get his team over the hump. It would’ve been a bold, aggressive (and expensive) move.
But Jones didn’t do any of that.
Instead, he kept all his coaches, waiting until their contracts elapsed in Jan. 2025. He also waited until the 11th hour to re-sign his aging, oft-injured quarterback, unnecessarily tying up his salary cap. And after the last season ended with the team losing more games than they won, he tried to lowball Mike McCarthy on a new contract.
McCarthy declined and walked.
Suddenly, the Dallas Cowboys — formerly “America’s Team” and still the most valuable franchise in professional sports — was scrambling. (But not scrambling like a young Lamar Jackson; more like a late-era Dan Marino.) For a very brief moment, this led to an influx of excitement and hope: Perhaps a new head coach might save the day!
Every NFC team has made at least one NFC Championship Game appearance since 2011. Every team but one: The last time the Cowboys made it, the year was 1996.
Remarkably, Jerry Jones was able to maintain the visibility and profitability of the Dallas Cowboys brand throughout the last 30 years of failures, embarrassments, and disappointments. Even though the team never played in the big game, there was always enough excitement — Big-name superstars! Palace intrigue! Thrilling storylines! — to sell hope to the fanbase.
For 29 long years — which, coincidentally, is also the length of the Cowboys’ NFC Championship drought — Tom Landry was the team’s only head coach. With his stoic demeanor, trademark hat, and consistent success, he defined the Cowboys brand for generations. Then, for a good five years, Jimmy Johnson was the franchise’s head coach. They were the team of the 1990s, and the Cowboys’ legend grew even larger: Three Super Bowl victories in four years will build one helluva brand.
But the championship ride ended in 1996.
For nearly 30 years, the Cowboys brand has been coasting on cultural memories, institutional momentum, and public goodwill.
Nothing lasts forever. Not even the Cowboys’ brand.
Jerry Jones will turn 83 next season. Last night, he hired a head coach that nobody else valued enough even to interview. What was once the most-desired head coaching job in American sports couldn’t even attract top-tier applicants.
This is a brand in freefall.
The Dallas fanbase now realizes that Jerry Jones would rather lose doing it his way than win doing it anyone else’s. And so do the coaches and players.
It’s a clown show.
Just a few short years ago, if you called a company or an organization the “Dallas Cowboys of its industry,” you’d imagine a brand that was the most popular, successful, and most visible. Back then, that’s what the Dallas Cowboys brand conveyed. It was considered a compliment!
Now?
If you called the Democratic Party the “Dallas Cowboys of politics,” it would mean something entirely different. You’d go, “Oh, they’re past-their-prime losers who can’t adapt to modern times, and are so damn arrogant, they don’t care what anyone else thinks.”
The old Dallas Cowboys brand is dead. And it’s not coming back until the Jerry Jones era is, at long last, finally over.
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