Hix Nix Kerry Pix... and more

I’m sorry… perhaps it was the advance Spielberg-Protegé Hype or my own apostate politics… but the Kerry Movie came off to me as a bland infomercial. Maybe they should have hired Oliver Stone to give it some pizzazz. The whole thing fell flat to me, but I guess I’m not the audience.

UPDATE: I must say I was stunned at what a poor speech Kerry gave, not particularly for the delivery — the man has never been a Churchill– but for the writing. This was the most important speech of his life and it sounded like a laundry list with no ups and downs, no narrative, no feeling, no beginning, middle or end, no nada. Did he write most of this himself or did he hire writers? If it’s the former, I would suggest the latter. If it’s the latter, I would suggest he can them immediately and look elsewhere.

But whoever comes in to write for Kerry has a problem. Years ago, when I was a good little Democrat, some Hollywood people asked me if I would be interested in writing speeches for Mike Dukakis. I was hugely flattered (anything to avoid writing scripts) and I accompanied those people to a party where Dukakis was speaking. But excited as I was, when I heard the then prospective candidate I was completely turned off and told them I wasn’t interested. Not in my wildest imagination could this man even get nominated. I didn’t want to waste my time.

What did I know?… Not much obviously, but I did know this. You can be the best writer in the world, but if your actor (politician) can’t cut the mustard, doesn’t have a soul of his own, your words are going nowhere. There’s something fake. Imagine John Kerry reciting a beautifully crafted speech and you’ll know what I mean.

But more importantly, when I heard Kerry utter the following words, I became genuinely depressed and more than a little angry:

I defended this country as a young man and I will defend it as President. Let there be no mistake: I will never hesitate to use force when it is required. Any attack will be met with a swift and certain response. I will never give any nation or international institution a veto over our national security. And I will build a stronger American military.

Any attack? That’s it? No preemptive action? Where would Kerry have stood on American intervention in Europe during World War II? The Nazis had not attacked us. Maybe I don’t want to know….The reassuring feeling I had gotten from John Edwards last night that their team would be serious about the War on Terror disappeared.

MORE: PunchTheBag has some witty observations.