Roger’s Rules

The Onion? Or the Religion of Peace? [UPDATED!]

This just in:

A Salafi group called the “Popular Egyptian Islamic Association” has warned Muslims against eating tomatoes on the grounds that the fruit is a “Christian food,” has reported.

You say “tomato,” I say “perfidious infidel”? (Let’s call the whole thing off.)

The group based its claim on the fact that a shape resembling a cross is revealed when one cuts a tomato in half.

What does that mean for T-bone steaks, I wonder?

I like tomatoes as much as the next infidel, but what are we to make of the thought process revealed by these sentences: “Eating tomatoes is forbidden because they are Christian. [The tomato] praises the cross instead of Allah and says that Allah is three [in reference to the Holy Trinity].”

Do you, like me, hear strains of the theme song from the Twilight Zone?

I suspect — I hope, anyway — that this is a bit of satire.

But you never know.  I mean, these are the folks that burn embassies and murder nuns because they don’t like a cartoon.  So who knows.  The “message,” legit or no, goes on “implore you to spread this photo. . . .”  I’m happy to oblige.


UPDATE: A friend writes:

Why just tomatoes? There are many other Christian vegetables of which followers of the Prophet, especially hyperthyroid followers, should be aware:

Cruciferous Vegetables

Cruciferous vegetable family are named for their cross-shaped (crucifer) flower petals.

Research of this family of vegetables indicates that they may provide protection against certain cancers.

Cruciferous vegetables contain antioxidants (particularly beta carotene and the compound sulforaphane). They are high in fiber, vitamins and minerals.

Cruciferous vegetables also cantain indole-3-carbidol (I3C). This element changes the way estrogen is metabolized and may prevent estrogen driven cancers.

Cruciferous vegetables also contain a kind of phytochemical known as isothiocyanates, which stimulate our bodies to break down potential carcinogens (cancer causing agents).


Raw cruciferous vegetables contain thyroid inhibitors known as goitrogens.

Goitrogens like circumstances that cause goiter, cause difficulty for the thyroid in making its hormone. Isothiocyanates appear to reduce thyroid function by blocking thyroid peroxidase, and also by disrupting messages that are sent across the membranes of thyroid cells.

People who have hypothyroid function should consider limiting and steaming cruciferous vegetables.


Bok choy
Brussels sprouts
Chinese cabbage
Collard greens
Mustard greens

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