Tiger’s Sex Score

It is too sordid, too tabloid, too trashy, too much like a bad reality-show — only it’s real.

I am talking about the Tiger Woods non-scandal. Alas, there is nothing unusual about what Tiger has done. This state of affairs (literally speaking) is routine, epidemic, and ancient. Johns are men — and to a John, women are either whores or wives. Mainly whores. Yes, there are many exceptions, but this is the rule. I am talking about the multi-billion dollar industry of prostitution (which in my book is not a victimless crime). The prostituted girl or woman is usually the victim.


But not always.

Tiger’s girls (all seemingly Caucasian, mainly blondes) are proud that he chose them, proud of the emails he sent their way, proud to have had sex with him for money — perhaps sometimes for no money, just for the thrill of it. These girls are not jilted lovers. They are professional prostitutes, celebrity wannabees, trying to trade on their youth and on their surgically perfected looks to become “somebody.” What else can they do? They are young, there are countless more where they came from, they age quickly. Some of these women are cocktail waitresses, event planners, restaurant managers, lingerie models, all-purpose models; some are porn stars (!), career prostitutes, and some are pimps.

Yes, women are pimps too and allegedly, Tiger turned to one or two to keep him well supplied.

None of them earn anywhere near what Tiger earns. Their future prospects are limited if they do not hitch their wagon to the right man. They are like moths to the flame. Tiger’s money and power constitute an irresistible magnet.

Tiger is a star, a sexy pretty-boy, a famous athlete, the biggest name in golf. He can get girls in any city, any port, any hour of the day or night. He did not want an extra-marital affair. He wanted multiple affairs, multiple one night stands, multiple, ongoing sex contacts to juggle. He wanted non-committed sex with a series of women (eleven so far and counting), whom he had no intention of marrying.


To Tiger, sex is a sport, like golf, a form of entertainment, another way of scoring. He is no different than all the other alpha-male rock stars, actors, politicians and businessmen.

Tiger’s preference for (some might say addiction to) impersonal prostitution-like sex is not unique. Think about presidents Jack Kennedy and Bill Clinton and their non-stop philandering. More recently, think about Eliot Spitzer (Client #9). I hesitate to count the number of groupies Mick Jagger and the Rolling Stones might once have had. We are not talking about love affairs. We are talking about a locker-room like release of tension and a male need to sexually dominate women while avoiding any real intimacy. We are not talking about Playboy-era Bunnies but about the normalization of post-hardcore pornography; about being accustomed to naked lap and pole dancing women in strip clubs, in movies, on television, and in hip hop and rap musical videos.

All women — indeed, even our precious little girls — exist for One. Thing. Only.

Tawdry, tragic, empty. Many journalists see Tiger’s scores as potential blackmailers with nary a heart of gold among them. My heart kinda breaks for them, given the low esteem in which they hold themselves, their uniformity, conformity, and short shelf lives.


But aren’t these adult sexual matters private? Why pry? Why does the media go after these private matters and, in so doing, destroy lives?

Because we, the people, just love to read about powerful people’s sex lives. We like to see someone ruined, brought low. There, but for the grace of God, go I; or, he deserves it, who does he think he is? How dare he mess with our illusions?

We, the people, want to know if one of our ostensible heroes is not as wholesome as he pretends to be; we want to know when they are low and crafty dogs.

Still, Tiger’s golfing score was not adversely affected by his non-intimate sexual acts. We do not “love” Tiger for his character but for his scoring. We, the people, do not “love” Tiger for himself. We do not love him for who he is at all.

In addition to the utter humiliation of Tiger’s Swedish Good Wife who is not only gorgeous herself but who is also the mother of their two children, there is (ahem) the race angle.

Like President Obama, Woods is part Caucasian, and part African; Woods is also part Asian and part Indian. He has referred to himself as “Cablinasian.”

African-American and Jewish-American women know all about how their men tend to lust blonde, how they often end up choosing White Gentile Goddesses as soon as they rise and leave the neighborhood. Traditionally, trophy wives, and second or third wives, are either fabulously well endowed economically and socially, or they are fabulously well endowed in terms of appearance. The preferred Goddess is a white, Gentile, tall, thin, young, “built,” Barbie Doll.


O.J. Simpson lusted after white women too — which, in retrospect, saved some African-American woman from being battered and murdered.

At least the Man in the White House has an African-American wife.


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