How Will I Manage Being a Different Mom to My Two Different Kids?

“So, are you ready for a few more years of diapers?” This was a question my friend recently asked me in reference to my baby who is due in just a few short months. Our toddler will be almost two-and-a-half years old when our second son is born, which means that we will have been changing poopy diapers for about five years or so when the little one is finally potty trained. That’s a lot of poop, pee, Diaper Genie refills, and thousands of dollars worth of Pampers Swaddlers. Actually until this moment, I never thought about it in those terms. Yikes.

Surprisingly, though, my reaction to my friend wasn’t what he expected. Sure, no one loves wiping butts all day, but that’s not what I’m focused on as we gear up for Baby #2. My concerns run far deeper than the day-to-day challenges of diaper blow-outs, runny noses, shots at the doctor or the seemingly endless singing of lullabies and nursery rhymes.

Currently my toddler is a very active (albeit loving and sweet) little boy. He is chock-full of energy, opinions and yes, tantrums. He’s two, so it’s to be expected. But at the end of the day, especially now that I’m more than halfway through my pregnancy, I am completely spent. Every last bit of strength that I have goes to him and his needs. Sure I am able to get some work done from home everyday, and I put my feet up at night, but by 10 p.m., I have nothing left to give anyone.

When the newborn arrives, suddenly someone else will need mommy. What’s more than that though, he will need me in entirely different ways than my toddler does. And that will be the case for a few years, until both boys are self-sufficient. That is the part that scares me: the prospect of needing to be two different mothers to two little people.