News & Politics

[WATCH] HILARIOUS Parody Socialist News Network at CPAC: 'From Our Studio to Your Bread Line'

Twitter screenshot of Socialist News Network parody at CPAC.

NATIONAL HARBOR, MD — Jesse Kelly, senior contributor to The Federalist, hosted a parody show at the Conservative Political Action Conference (CPAC), using dark humor to mock the idea of a Bernie Sanders win and a socialist transformation of America.

“Hello and welcome to the Socialist News Network. I’m Jesse Kelly, my preferred pronouns are ‘they,’ ‘them,’ ‘her,’ ‘him,’ and ‘it.’ While 150 million Americans have lost their health insurance after Congress passed the president’s Medicare for All bill, Democrats are confident the plan will end in huge savings after all those people finally die,” Kelly quipped.

He painted a dystopian future that was nonetheless hilarious, with Rep. Adam Schiff (D-Calif.) as a Supreme Court justice and the impeachment “whistleblower” choosing Schiff as the best man at his wedding and godfather of his child. Schiff became the 27th member of the Supreme Court.

“The president formally announced Columbus Day will be eliminated and changed to Elizabeth Warren Day. Apparently, some people were confusing it with Thanksgiving, so let’s get something clear right now: You eat a turkey on Thanksgiving, on Elizabeth Warren Day, you sound like one.”

Among other things, Kelly reported that Greta Thunberg was confirmed as EPA administrator, flights to Hawaii had been banned — with the exception of Democratic candidates for president flying there to talk about the dangers of fossil fuels — and a Bernie Sanders executive order that Washington, D.C. be fueled by wind power.

Ten-year-old children were granted the right to vote, the population boomed to 7.7 billion people after the eradication of all borders, and all bathrooms had been eliminated for “gender discrimination.”

The CPAC audience laughed and jeered at this hilarious parody, but it illustrates by hyperbole and stark contrast just how dangerous many Democratic proposals on climate, gender, and the Supreme Court are.

Tyler O’Neil is the author of Making Hate Pay: The Corruption of the Southern Poverty Law Center. Follow him on Twitter at @Tyler2ONeil.