When I saw a Facebook post announcing that Hillary Clinton will be speaking at a cybersecurity conference, I burst out laughing. I had the immediate desire to share it with my closest friends, and you will, too. This news is worthy of The Onion or The Babylon Bee.
On Thursday, the cybersecurity company FireEye announced one of its keynote speakers will be none other than Hillary Rodham Clinton, the former secretary of State infamous for keeping classified information on her home-brew email server.
This is no small snafu. FireEye is a publicly-traded company founded in 2004. FireEye “has been called in to investigate high-profile attacks against Target, JP Morgan Chase, Sony Pictures, Anthem and others.” According to Deloitte, FireEye is the fastest-growing cybersecurity firm.
In a shameless push to get butts in seats, this very prominent cybersecurity firm is hosting Hillary Clinton. When the company announced this on Facebook, at least 1,365 people reacted with a laugh.
While then-FBI Director James Comey announced that he would not recommend charges against Hillary Clinton, he infamously called her actions regarding the email server “extremely careless” with classified information. A Clinton aide told the FBI he personally used a hammer to destroy two of Clinton’s mobile devices as she rushed to bury evidence. This gave birth to one of the best political campaign ads in history. In fact, the FBI had to go to Obama’s White House to find emails that Hillary Clinton tried to destroy.
FireEye does not mention the email scandal in its bio for Hillary Clinton. In fact, it does not mention one cybersecurity qualification for the woman who would be president. Here is the bio in full:
Hillary Rodham Clinton has spent four decades in public service as an advocate, attorney, First Lady, U.S. Senator, 67th United States Secretary of State, and presidential candidate.
She was born in Chicago, Illinois on October 26, 1947. After graduating from Wellesley College and Yale Law School, she began her life-long work on behalf of children and families by joining the Children’s Defense Fund.
As First Lady of the United States, from 1993 to 2001, Hillary Clinton championed health care for all Americans and led successful bipartisan efforts to improve the adoption and foster care systems, reduce teen pregnancy, and create the Children’s Health Insurance Program. She traveled to more than 80 countries, standing up for human rights, democracy, and civil society. In 2000, Clinton made history as the first First Lady elected to the United States Senate, and the first woman elected to statewide office in New York. As Senator, she worked across party lines to expand economic opportunity and access to quality, affordable health care.
Clinton was appointed Secretary of State in 2009 by President Barack Obama. She spent four years as America’s chief diplomat and the President’s principal foreign policy adviser. She played a central role in elevating America’s standing in the world and strengthening its global leadership, visiting 112 countries over 4 years.
Hillary Rodham Clinton is the author of five best-selling books, including her groundbreaking book on children, It Takes A Village (1996); Dear Socks, Dear Buddy (1998); An Invitation to the White House (2000); her memoir, Living History (2003), and Hard Choices (2014).
Clinton has no cybersecurity qualifications, but she is popular among Democrats. In fact, many Democrats and liberals are still sore over Donald Trump’s victory over her in 2016.
FireEye will gain headlines, attention, and probably a few more attendees because it chose Hillary Clinton as a keynote speaker. It will also receive a great deal of mockery. Conservatives can only hope that cybersecurity experts will complain about a woman notorious for the opposite of cybersecurity giving a speech at this conference.
Perhaps big companies will think twice before hiring FireEye. Whatever Target thinks about Hillary Clinton, the company doesn’t want Russia reading its emails…
Follow Tyler O’Neil, the author of this article, on Twitter at @Tyler2ONeil.