News & Politics

We Must Stop the Gun-Panic Epidemic

I’m calling for a grassroots movement, a community organization of some kind against a dangerous epidemic plaguing our nation: GUN-PANIC.

This poisonous contagion is wiping out what we as a society used to call common sense.

Shortly before 8 p.m. on Monday night, Colgate University officials released an emergency alert that there was an armed individual on campus. The gunman was later identified as a student with a glue gun working on an art project, according to the New York Upstate News.

The suspect was walking the halls of a campus center armed with a sniper-like, fully automatic art utensil and high-capacity glue. Students were warned: “Find a safe space and remain indoors. If you are off-campus, stay away.”

“After thorough investigation, and with the assistance of the person in question, law enforcement identified the individual as a student who was using a glue gun for an art project.”

Occurrences of this epidemic have made an appearance in the great stick-gun freakout, the water-gun suspension, the pop-tart-gun debacle, the deadly finger-gun affair, and the paper-gun caper.

When will it stop?

More than “sensible gun laws,” we need sensible human beings. Good grief.