If It Hadn't Been for Mush-Mouth Joe...

Years ago, there was a genre known as stadium rock. Numerous albums were issued that were basically classic rock favorites remastered to instill team spirit during an NBA, MLB, or NFL game and generally get the crowd out of their seats. One of those was a remake of a traditional American southern bluegrass song called “Cotton-Eyed Joe,” which was redone by a group from Sweden (of all places) called Rednex. You can view the original video below

Yes, I know the economy is in the toilet, the Resident of the United States has declared half the country to be political enemies, race relations are in the toilet, and the world is tottering on the brink of war. But at the same time, there is an absurdity to it all that says we should, if nothing else, laugh. I suppose I should apologize to Rednex. But I’m not going to. I’m tired of apologizing every five minutes–and besides, it’ an American folk song that has been around long enough that it is subject to public domain. So here for your enjoyment is my own rendition of “Cotton-Eyed Joe”:

If it hadn’t been for Mush-Mouth Joe, I’d got groceries long time ago

Now we’re all eating canned Alpo

What’s for dinner, Mush-Mouth Joe?

If it hadn’t been for Mush-Mouth Joe, I’d have driven long time ago

There’s no gas my car won’t go

Where’s my EV, Mush-Mouth Joe?

If hadn’t been for Mush-Mouth Joe, I’d have gone shopping long time ago

All the stores are boarded and closed.

Where do we shop now, Mush-Mouth Joe?

If it hadn’t been for Mush-Mouth Joe, I would have voted long ago

Where the hell did my ballot go?

You’ll never tell me, Mush-Mouth Joe.