'I Have Monkeypox!' Is This Week's Cocktail for the 'Unwoke With Kevin and Kruiser' Podcast

Now that I have your attention, let’s drink!

The “I Have Monkypox!” is, honestly, a work in progress. It isn’t horrible, but if I were writing a cocktail book for conservatives — ahem — this might not make the cut.

My only rule when it comes to mixology is that I must drink what I create. This is a stupid rule.

YECCH-O-RAMA! I refuse to waste booze, so when I invent a cocktail that comes out somewhat vomitous, I don’t want to drink it. I keep plugging away. This rule keeps me on point. That said, it means I keep adding ingredients. Sometimes this ends in something that tastes like seroma. As per the ingredients below, you can see how desperate I was to find something potable.

 I Have Monkeypox!

• 2 shots of Monkey Head Vodka
• 1/2 shot of Bacardi
• 1/2 shot of Trader Vic’s Macadamia Nut
• 1/2 shot Creme de Cacao
• 1/2 shot English Reserve Reserve rum
• 3.4 shot lime juice
• float 151 proof Goslings Bermuda Black rum

The cocktail should be the color of hydrocele fluid straw except for the dark 151 rum at the top.

Try to light the 151 on fire because monkeypox burns! See you on the podcast!

Kevin Downey, Jr.