News & Politics

The Media Will Drag Joe Biden Across the Finish Line if It's the Last Thing They Do

AP Photo/Charles Dharapak

Every four years, I assume that our moral, ethical, and intellectual betters in the press have stooped as low as they can possibly stoop. Then another election rolls around and they prove me wrong. It happens every time. I don’t know what I expected.

The NY Post‘s story about Hunter Biden’s allegedly abandoned laptop has forced journalists and other Democrats to cast aside their thin veil of impartiality. Wherever the evidence may lead, they can’t allow themselves to follow. Because if they do, it might bring about four more years of Bad Orange Man.

I already wrote in my candidate and I don’t care who wins on November 3. I’ve resigned myself to the result either way. But these @$$holes sure haven’t. They’re doing everything they can to drag Joe’s decrepit old carcass across the finish line, and they’re shouting down or silencing anybody who doesn’t like it. I’ve had my differences with Trump supporters over the years, but they’re not the ones censoring me, locking me out of my social media accounts, and trying to shut me up.

Silencing dissent doesn’t change anyone’s mind. It just makes us want to know what you’re hiding.

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So Hunter’s laptop is “Russian disinformation,” is it? How’s that supposed to work? Here’s a theory: That computer repairman in Delaware is a Russian sleeper agent, planted here decades ago to infiltrate the Wilmington strip-mall community. He’s just been waiting for his signal from the Kremlin. It’s just like that show The Americans, which is how you know it’s true.

Or, maybe a crackhead misplaced a personal item.

I’m just saying it’s possible that it happened the way the NY Post says it happened. Maybe Hunter Biden abandoned a laptop at a repair shop because he’s rich enough, thanks to the no-show jobs his dad got him, to buy as many laptops as he wants when he comes out of a blackout and finds one missing.

It wouldn’t be the first time. Hell, he once left his driver’s license, some credit cards, and a crack pipe in a rental car. He’s forgetful like that. But aren’t we all? How many times have you looked all over the house as you’re getting ready for work, saying, “Where did I leave that crack pipe?”

I’m told the story is “sketchy.” Yeah, maybe. But lots of political stories over the years have seemed sketchy at first. I wouldn’t have believed John Edwards would move his pregnant mistress around the country from one rented mansion to the next to avoid reporters, but he did. I wouldn’t have believed Anthony Weiner would send pictures of his penis to women who aren’t his wife, but he did. And don’t even get me started on Bill Clinton.

Extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence. And the NY Post has shown us some evidence. Now, instead of looking at that evidence, all their fellow journalists are attacking the messenger:

Okay. What did Hunter Biden say about it when the NYT asked him?

Just kidding. They haven’t asked him, and I don’t expect them to. Because he might give them an answer that doesn’t fit their narrative.

And his dad isn’t denying it:

This is similar to John Edwards’ non-denial when he got caught being naughty in 2008. He dismissed the allegation as “tabloid trash” and said he wasn’t going to respond to it. If he thought that would be the end of it, he sure was wrong. But then, he wasn’t the Democratic nominee, and none of the journalists who uncovered the truth about him were in danger of putting a Republican in power. That’s the difference this time.

But don’t worry, the journos are keeping track of the stories that really matter:

Now we know the truth.

And now, coincidentally enough:

Well, that settles it. Biden wouldn’t be resting on his laurels if he was worried about this story, now would he? Nothing to see here, folks, tell your story walkin’…