News & Politics

How'd That Work Out for Gillette? Brie Larson's 'Woke' Nissan Ad Tells Men to Stay in Their Lane

(YouTube screenshot)

Are you in the market for a new car? Do you hate men? Did you think Captain Marvel was a really good movie and still write Tumblr posts about it? Are you a white professional-class woman between the ages of 21-35, living in a coastal city? Well then, Nissan has got the automobile for you!

We’ve all been there: Your boss, who is a male, refuses to promote you because he has a small penis and listens to Joe Rogan. Then Brie Larson shows up and tells you to get in her car for some reason, drives recklessly while listing the vehicle’s features and repeating the theme of the advertising campaign, and then drops you off so you can march right up to your boss and refuse to compromise with him because you’re a strong independent woman and all men are literally $#!+.

Refuse to compromise. Unless you’re a man, in which case you should definitely compromise. Stay in your lane, men. Literally!

Please note that this scenario would not happen if the boss were a woman, or if the employee were a man. Women lift each other up, work together, and live in harmony. Anybody who has ever had a job with two or more women in the same workplace knows that. And men stick to their little boys’ club, where there’s no competition or hostility between members. Um, hello? They’re men.

Sort of.

In case you’re still confused about the message of the ad, Nissan has produced this behind-the-scenes featurette where Larson and her vocal fry explain it to you like the sad little manchild you are, you incel neckbeard MRA. Awww, did that make you angwy? Does baby need his didie changed?

Fer shure! The universe is very funny, and sometimes it just takes a few years to get to the punchline. But she’s getting to it. The universe is, I mean. Oh, you didn’t know she has a gender? Educate yourself.

The two blonde-haired white women in their early 30s to mid 40s are right. It’s about sisterhood. It’s about community. It’s about being given the opportunity to believe in yourself. It’s about self-actualization via consumerism. You can’t be what you can’t see. (Just ask Rosa Parks.) Plus, did you know that a man once criticized Brie Larson’s work, right to her face?

It’s about car-buying as an act of revenge against an entire gender. Oh, are you triggered?

Pitting the two halves of the planet’s population against each other is just a solid business strategy. Remember how well it worked out for Gillette?

(Hat tip: Sausage Roll)

P.S. Here’s part 2 of that ad..

STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO WAS EMANCIPATED BY BRIE LARSON: There you are. I refuse to compromise. I demand you give me that promotion right now!

EVIL MALE BOSS: We talked about this, Susan. Next quarter we can circle b–

SUSAN: Or I quit!

EMB: Wow. Well, if that’s how you feel. Okay. Sorry to see you go, but I respect your decision.

SUSAN: …Wait. What?