News & Politics

Joe Biden Will Command Respect from Both Our Enemies and Our Adversaries

Democratic presidential candidate former U.S. Vice President Joe Biden arrives to speak to local residents during a bus tour stop at Water's Edge Nature Center, Monday, Dec. 2, 2019, in Algona, Iowa. (AP Photo/Charlie Neibergall)

Joseph Robinette Biden Jr. is turning out to be a dream candidate, if only for fans of cringe comedy. Again and again, Joe’s bumbling missteps and cranky hostility make even his most dedicated opponents say: “For God’s sake, isn’t there somebody who can help this poor old man?” It seems cruel to subject this addled old-timer to the rigors of a presidential campaign, but it sure beats watching him play shuffleboard.

Last week, Joe went nuts on an Iowa voter who asked him a question he didn’t like. Today, we’ve been gifted with an interview Biden just gave to NPR’s Rachel Martin. She climbed aboard the No Malarkey bus and got an earful of Joe’s pure, unadulterated malarkey:

Once again, I tried to transcribe Joe’s disjointed nattering as best as I could:

Biden: Name me somebody who’s gonna be able to stand on the world stage and immediately command the respect of everyone in the world, our enemies as well as our adversar– as well as our allies. I know all these people. This is the only reason why I’m running this time, is because of my experience.

Martin: Well, Barack Obama was able to do it, and he didn’t have very much experience at all.

Biden: No, that’s not true. Think about it. That’s not true. What happened was, one of the reasons Barack Obama picked me as vice president is because he lacked the background in foreign policy. He’s a brilliant guy. He knew what he wanted to do. He knew how to get it done. But notice, every time we had a problem on Capitol Hill, who went up and got it fixed? Answer the question. Who went up and got it fixed? See, you’re not. You know the truth.

Martin: It’s not my job to answer questions.

Biden: I know it’s not your job to answer.

Martin: I appreciate the sentiment.

You can watch the whole interview here.

Everything about this is wonderfully cringey: the close-talking, the intensity of Joe’s delusions, his demand of his interviewer to answer his question. It’s the same energy as a young woman visiting her grandfather in the nursing home and getting an earful about his high-school football career as a backup QB. The only way this could be any better is if he said, “Look here, little lady.”

What you’re looking at here is a 77-year-old man who passed up his best shot at winning the presidency because he was afraid of Hillary Clinton. Now he’s desperately struggling to make up for that monumental mistake, while trying to hold onto his rapidly fading mental faculties. Even if you don’t like Donald Trump, you should be rooting for the Dems to nominate this guy. If he’s this hilarious now, how much fun will he be when the pressure really gets cranked up?

I wish I could be a fly on the wall when Barry watches Joe spewing this nonsense. Biden was Obama’s insurance policy for eight years — Who would ever want to assassinate him, if the alternative was this clown? — and now Biden has convinced himself he was the one running the show the whole time. It must be torture to Barry’s ego. Tee-hee!