We're Supposed to Take Seriously a Climate Discovery Made by a Submarine Named Boaty McBoatface

NERC polar research ship. A submersive called Boaty McBoatface on display at Cammell Laird in Birkenhead. Picture date: Monday, October 17, 2016. (Peter Byrne/PA Wire)

As the great Glenn Reynolds always says, “I’ll believe there’s a crisis when the people telling me there’s a crisis start acting like there’s a crisis.” Or words to that effect, I don’t feel like Googling it. But his point is that actions speak louder than words. For example: If Al Gore wants us to believe the coasts will be flooded if we don’t do something now now now now now, why did he buy beachfront property?

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For another example: If climate scientists want us to take them seriously, why did they name a research vessel Boaty McBoatface?

Rob Picheta, CNN:

The British research submarine Boaty McBoatface has made an impressive debut in the scientific arena, discovering a significant link between Antarctic winds and rising sea temperatures on its maiden outing…

The task saw McBoatface travel 180 kilometers (112 miles) through mountainous underwater valleys in Antarctica, measuring the temperature, saltiness and turbulence in the depths of the Southern Ocean…

“The data from Boaty McBoatface gave us a completely new way of looking at the deep ocean — the path taken by Boaty created a spatial view of the turbulence near the seafloor,” Eleanor Frajka-Williams of the center said in a statement.

And so we’re all going to die from global warming or something.

As you may recall, Boaty McBoatface was originally the name of the ship itself, after that hilarious name won an online poll back in 2016. Instead, the British government named the ship the RRS Sir David Attenborough because it’s more boring. They named the ship’s research submarine Boaty McBoatface instead, which makes even less sense, but they probably thought it would spare them any further embarrassment. Oh well!

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Sorry, but if you want us to take you seriously, don’t give your research sub a name right out of Thomas the Tank Engine.

“Look out, the oceans will rise and kill us all! Boaty McBoatface said so!” Yeah, nice try, clowns.

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